Sufferer Veteran

[Colleen]

Thanks. Yea it was easier to hide in the bottle and not have to deal and now it feels like I'm and there all over again. It's crazy. I feel out of control and it's starting to effect my work. I have one friend I finally confided in and it feels alittle better but hard to talk about cause she isn't military so she doesn't understand the guilt I feel from surviving

 

[Plat-Daddy]

Just remember you were on the job. if I had choices I would have been very ugly to many politicians for trying to get things done in the of god and country when in fact was about money or opium. I wish I could erase the pain. I cannot on my own. I do find peace in all were bad guys and all my brothers who we lost I just try to see them helping kids and other brothers and sisters adapt when they get to heaven. Nothing was in vain. I am indian and my grans were full blooded medicine people. They have always told me when your time is up it is up. Us veterans just get to chose to be doing something for others when it is our time. I asked them point blank so if not in combat they would have been in a car crash or something else. They said there is no proof of this but has been told this way for 1000 years. I like to think they are still helping others and the ones that were an ass now have no reason to be so they are all good also. I have quiet time and talk to mine missing often. I do this alone so others will not think I am nuts. Since doing this many more times a week now they pop into my head. HUmmmm. just have faith that your supposed to be here to help others who are worse and the make damn sure others are not forgotten. Thank you for risking and living through what you do for us and other. Retired here.