Vocational Testing - Gee, I'm Excited About This One

[sibemom]

WHOOPEEE! Next Friday I have to go have vocational testing done, not real enthused about this because if it is anything like the neuro psych tests I know I will be completly drained. I guess they need to know ALL THE THINGS I CAN'T do to make a better case for me. I have to admit I am terrified of this, but also know it needs to be done. I know I have to not stress it because no matter how I worry and panic about it the fact is it still needs to be done. I guess everytime I have this type of testing done to me it's like adding more salt to the already existing wounds. It's a reminder of things that are lost, and not to say some of them will be lost forever but right now for me to learn anything new is just not an option. I guess to seeing a brand new doc even just for the testing frightens me. I do not do well with NEW PEOPLE of any sort and even though he is a psychologist he is still NEW. I just wish this whole legal battle was over so I can concentrate more on healing but that is not the case so I will plug along doing what they ask and if I flip out on him so be it. I can't predict how it will go the last testing I had done was pretty intense and like I said draining, and made me feel stupid. I hate it when they give you a simple math problem and you sit there and go DAHHHHHH! Oh well I will deal with it, and if it causes major problems I will come here and vent about them.

 

[Josh77]

sibemom,
Please try to calm down(i know that is easy to say, but hard to do); take it one thing at a time. Don't worry about things too far into the future; just concentrate on one thing at a time; instead of worrying about everything that needs to be done (it's too overwelming that way), take it one minute at a time if you need to!! I'm not trying to act like i know everything, but worrying is something that i also do a lot of; and this advice works for me when i get anxious and overwelmed. Good luck with the test and the new doc.

Josh

 

[sibemom]

I had a doctor appt yesterday and I am a bit more calm about the whole mess. My Doc said not to stress it because if I flip out or it triggers an episode so be it, he also said if the testing gets to hard for me to tell them I need to stop. He said that yes this is in his opinon cruel punishment for my situation but then again part of the process, if it causes problems it's just more validation that YES THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG. I guess to for me the fact that this is a NEW DOC, and I am so tired of being poked, probed, anylized etc... maybe that is what is concerning me the most. I will be taking my mom with me, she will be up here for the Holidays and so I know at least she will offer me a bit more security during this process, I am also taking my service dog, he too will keep me a bit more grounded. My therapy appointment went really good yesterday my new homework is to work on letting go of the intense anger that consumes me. My therapist gave me some ideas on how to rechannel it and eventually get rid of it. It's like poison to me, and I know it does no good for my well being. She is very supportive about me joining this group and said that being able to talk with others with PTSD is a great way of gaining knowledge on how others cope with it and again to remind me that this is a READ disorder and NO IT IS NOT JUST IN MY HEAD.

 

[Josh77]

Keep up the good work, sibemom! it sounds like you've accepted the fact that these tests are a part of the process, and worrying about it isn't productive. your doc sounds like a good one, as i also am fortunate to have a good doc(therapist).

Josh

 

[Terry]

Me too in about 6 weeks. Let us know how it goes we are pulling for you.