Voices Raised, T Ticked Off And I Am Confused

[Freedomfighter]

Here are some good questions for you and your therapist:
How do you define love? How many different kinds of love are you aware of? Do you and your therapist define love and the many different types of love in the same way?
Then, how do you define a relationship? A private relationship, a professional relationship? Should those not be the very first questions addressed in any therapy session?

God, we are always so much smarter after we learn these things, aren't we?

 

[Rumors]

@Reds uh, ok. Now, I have to say, there is something creepy to me about your therapist telling you she loves you. That just doesn't give me the warm and fuzzies on any level, however she said it which is no different than any other time you have asked her to say it and she has. Personally, I would go see someone else and explain this dynamic and see what they think. I third party can sometimes be a valuable gauge for what we need to hear. Good luck!

 

[digger]

it hurts that you all think I should change a therapist, I know it's probably the right thing to do.

You've posted about this relationship a lot, and I think every time you've received similar responses, and I think you will continue to receive those kinds of responses because what you are sharing continues to throw up red flags for most of us.
This does not sound like a healthy therapeutic relationship. The professional boundaries seem to have been blurred a long time ago. I think you are too enmeshed in it to see it clearly.

I know I should have stopped seeing her a long time ago but I am very attached to her, I think she also tried a number of times to stop seeing me but I wouldn't let her.

Someone more professional would not allow herself to be manipulated in this way. It shouldn't come down to whether you let her or not, it should come down to her making a professional judgement on whether this relationship is healthy any more, for either of you. From where I'm sitting it all sounds and feels very unhealthy.

 

[Born to Run]

I think I will find another therapist but will hold on to the current relationship until I'm ready to let go.

I agree with @Rumors in that a professional third party can help you sort this out. If you can not give up the current relationship at the same time then simply don't.

@Born to Run saying she isn't my mother is the hardest truth to swallow, sometimes I truly believe she's my mother, then other times I remind myself that she isn't. But whatever she is to me I need it, it's the first relationship where I felt real connection, safe, belonging and wanted

Yes, I understand so well, I also had to miss out on that. Of course as a child we all need that good mother. However, remember it is the hurt child in you that is still having the illusion that it is possible after all that there is a good mother available. This may seem like a solution, but fact is, for the child there was no mother. You need to get real about this in order to heal from your real- or absent mother. This substitute can never repair the pain from the past, and in that pain lies your healing.