bluebettie99
New Here
Hi everyone!
I'm not officially diagnosed with PTSD but I'm coming upto my 1 year anniversary of my traumatic event and I'm still having nightmares and flashbacks, still very anxious and avoiding doctors and hospitals :(
I don't think my family or friends really understand how I feel and while I'm mostly happy that's because I'm avoiding everything remotely related to my trauma and distracting myself like crazy!
I would love to hear from anyone (lol that sentence was going to end with ... in my area but anyone would be a good start!!)
Here is my story - sorry it's a little long (warning - contains details about being in ICU and getting sick while pregnant)
Last year in my 34th week of pregnancy I contracted swine flu by chance at a shopping centre. I don't remember much of that week now as I had high temperatures and a sore throat all week but I was trying to plan and get ready for my baby shower which was the following saturday.
I had my normal check up at the hospital that week and also rang in and got another appointment so I could get checked out because I was feeling so bad. They took a blood sample and told me to keep hydrated and would let me know if the results came back abnormal but that it was just something viral.
I drove 2 hours to go to my baby shower and spent most of it either asleep or refusing to let people hug me because I felt so sick and I didn't want them to catch anything. That night I coughed up blood and at some point asked my partner to take me to hospital the next day.
I was admitted with a temperature of 41degrees and taken to intensive care. The staff at the hospital managed to get my temperature lower overnight but the next day I got worse again. Even though I don't remember it I signed some paperwork to have an emergency csection and my daughter was born at 34 weeks and 6 days. Bubby weighed 2.44kgs and had a small tear in one of her lungs and was put on oxygen for the next few days. She stayed in hospital for the next 16 days and was in a tiny isolation area of the special care nursery for most of it but was never infected with swine flu thank goodness.
The swine flu had led me to develop severe pneumonia. The hospital staff hoped I would get better after the csection but when it didn't I was moved to a hospital in Sydney with an ECMO machine. This was one of the machines that saved my life. When I was hooked upto the ECMO machine my temperature was 43 degrees and they didn't get my results back from my blood tests from my check up until after I was put into a coma so they could get my condition under control. I was in the coma on the ECMO machine for 15 days with the ECMO machine pumping my blood out and cooling and oxygenating it because I couldn't breathe to get enough oxygen into my body anymore. I was also on dialysis twice before my condition had gotten to the point where I could be taken off the machines and I could be brought off the drugs that put me in the coma. I was in intensive care for another 3 days before I was put on a ward and left hospital after a total of 23 days.
I didn't meet my daughter until she was 17 days old and when I left hospital I had to walk with a walking frame and get help to go to the bathroom or get out of bed but I wanted to be home so I could get to know my little girl. My mother stayed with us until I could look after bubby by myself. I can walk and drive and look after bubby with no troubles but I'm still not back to the way I was and nobody knows if I will be. I get very tired and short of breath if I do too much.
I've been having dreams and flashbacks of the dreams I had while I was in the coma and I have to remind myself that they aren't real. It almost feels like I lived another life in those nightmares and what really happened to me while I was in the coma isn't my life at all. I had dreams of burning alive and being held down and losing my family and being forced to try and 'pick' a better ending to my life even though it always ended badly. It was the worst type of pick your own adventure.
Thanks for reading :)
I'm not officially diagnosed with PTSD but I'm coming upto my 1 year anniversary of my traumatic event and I'm still having nightmares and flashbacks, still very anxious and avoiding doctors and hospitals :(
I don't think my family or friends really understand how I feel and while I'm mostly happy that's because I'm avoiding everything remotely related to my trauma and distracting myself like crazy!
I would love to hear from anyone (lol that sentence was going to end with ... in my area but anyone would be a good start!!)
Here is my story - sorry it's a little long (warning - contains details about being in ICU and getting sick while pregnant)
Last year in my 34th week of pregnancy I contracted swine flu by chance at a shopping centre. I don't remember much of that week now as I had high temperatures and a sore throat all week but I was trying to plan and get ready for my baby shower which was the following saturday.
I had my normal check up at the hospital that week and also rang in and got another appointment so I could get checked out because I was feeling so bad. They took a blood sample and told me to keep hydrated and would let me know if the results came back abnormal but that it was just something viral.
I drove 2 hours to go to my baby shower and spent most of it either asleep or refusing to let people hug me because I felt so sick and I didn't want them to catch anything. That night I coughed up blood and at some point asked my partner to take me to hospital the next day.
I was admitted with a temperature of 41degrees and taken to intensive care. The staff at the hospital managed to get my temperature lower overnight but the next day I got worse again. Even though I don't remember it I signed some paperwork to have an emergency csection and my daughter was born at 34 weeks and 6 days. Bubby weighed 2.44kgs and had a small tear in one of her lungs and was put on oxygen for the next few days. She stayed in hospital for the next 16 days and was in a tiny isolation area of the special care nursery for most of it but was never infected with swine flu thank goodness.
The swine flu had led me to develop severe pneumonia. The hospital staff hoped I would get better after the csection but when it didn't I was moved to a hospital in Sydney with an ECMO machine. This was one of the machines that saved my life. When I was hooked upto the ECMO machine my temperature was 43 degrees and they didn't get my results back from my blood tests from my check up until after I was put into a coma so they could get my condition under control. I was in the coma on the ECMO machine for 15 days with the ECMO machine pumping my blood out and cooling and oxygenating it because I couldn't breathe to get enough oxygen into my body anymore. I was also on dialysis twice before my condition had gotten to the point where I could be taken off the machines and I could be brought off the drugs that put me in the coma. I was in intensive care for another 3 days before I was put on a ward and left hospital after a total of 23 days.
I didn't meet my daughter until she was 17 days old and when I left hospital I had to walk with a walking frame and get help to go to the bathroom or get out of bed but I wanted to be home so I could get to know my little girl. My mother stayed with us until I could look after bubby by myself. I can walk and drive and look after bubby with no troubles but I'm still not back to the way I was and nobody knows if I will be. I get very tired and short of breath if I do too much.
I've been having dreams and flashbacks of the dreams I had while I was in the coma and I have to remind myself that they aren't real. It almost feels like I lived another life in those nightmares and what really happened to me while I was in the coma isn't my life at all. I had dreams of burning alive and being held down and losing my family and being forced to try and 'pick' a better ending to my life even though it always ended badly. It was the worst type of pick your own adventure.
Thanks for reading :)
