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Waiting To Decay

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Hello again, gentlemen & gentleladies ;)

Not sure about other people, but from at least personal experience I think that has quite a potential to work. Not necessarily time consuming even, the beginning stages. More taking someone who knows what they're doing, and with quite saintly patience for all the 'temper' issues in the meantime. Analytic. Cutting through nonsense. Strict. Cool headed enough. Don't know there's enough command type guys out there for that, possibley back to your 'don't have enough manpower to do this'. On another hand I'm rather hopeful, where is will there can be a path.


Yeah, got me thinking. Debrief, all good. Full on session = too f*cking overwhelming. Debriefs are doable. So basically good thinking right there.

(Hopefully this comment makes sense. I'm still so fail at expressing a lot of things processed in emotions/kinetic sensations in words. TLDR liking this post helluva lot.).

Debriefs are all crap.

A debrief after an incident yeah, but when they do a psych debrief before you go home or immediately after you get home, the first thing a veteran wants is to be left alone with his family. He will say everything is alright.

What needs to happen IMO is that a few months after they are home, the partners need to be contacted on the side and asked how things are. It's the only way to uncover the truth. We all know that nobody wants to appear week, so they will say what they want, and get their wives to say what they want. It's not until their relationships are in tatters or they are sitting in a jailhouse waiting for a court case do they finally admit there is a problem.

It has to be time consuming. Each individuals personal record has to be scrutinised and history of trauma discovered. You can't leave it up to the individual.

Anyway, this is someones intro. I should not be diverting it.
 
@vincent85 i totally agree with moving to the country. Not sure if here is where I'd said how I backpack 55 miles through Yosemite every year..? Honestly the only time I truly feel at peace is when I'm out in the middle of nature with no one around for miles. I plan to be able to move to the country in the next 2 years.
@Jimmy thats exactly what I did when I went threw my post deployment psych eval. I just wanted to get the hell outta there and after I saw them hold a guy from my unit I learned to just say what they need to hear so I can leave.
 
Yeah the only resemblance of peace I get is when I find my zone by working on my expedition vehicles and being in a peaceful rural setting. That is why I am rebuilding a diesel Land Cruiser right now and I am going to take a trip to Alaska in it, then in the future drive it down the Pan-American highway through Central/South America. It helps give me a goal and it involves the things that offer me some grounding. I firmly believe having a constant project on these and learning how to rebuild them saved my life initially.

I included a few pictures for you to see, this is what I do allot of times late at night and during the day to distract my mind. The yellow vehicle is the RHD diesel Land Cruiser, was originally from Australia. That is the one I am taking on the journey. I am doing a full frame off restoration right now myself. The black is Jeep is what I built after I got wounded and retired. I am fixing the dual battery setup and setting up the rear locker in the axle now. I am in Virginia right now, I was getting treatment, but I am also up here to use my friend’s garage in the country to finish my Land Cruiser.
 

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Another "motor head"! Wrenching on my trucks used to chase the beast away. There used to be two Land Cruiser fans on here that would really enjoy your pictures.

Thanks for sharing.

Sarg
 
Cool Land Crusier!! Hoping to buy a place in the country in a couple years and have space to work on cars
 
Escaping to the country is a form of isolation. I am in no way saying this is a bad thing because it is not. However, this can either be a trap or a help based on the individual. The reality of moving into the country is that you can create a Home (base camp) in which you are safe and secure. for us geeks out there it is our Fortress of Solitude ;)
However, this can cause us to never want to leave. As in 'Theater' where as long as we were inside the "Green Zone," or "Inside the Wire," or whatever ya'll called it we felt safe and never wanted to leave until that final flight out came. We all tend to fall back on those times where we felt safe and recreate it. My Dad is a Vietnam Veteran (2 tours, Combat Medic, 1st Cav), and he does this.
It took time to get him to realize that he had to get out into the world and identify his triggers so that he could learn to adapt to them. That is the truth of Combat PTSD. Adaption. Even with medication, I still had to learn my triggers and adapt.

I wish you all the best guys but please do not become hermits:eek:

Patrick
 
You can mate, but you would need to get everyone when diagnosed with PTSD and put them on a 12 month intensive program. You see, with boot camp, you lived and breathed it. You were broken down and turned into a military person.

Jimmy, you are thinking towards the concept of RE-training. The idea of taking all Combat Vets and putting them into a "Become a Civilian" Boot Camp. A reality that will never work because a Combat Vet has reached the epitome of their training and danced with the devil. The devil does not like to lose as the Combat Veteran does not like to lose. So, he follows us home. Which means that we are now in a new Theater of Operation where the reaction possibilities have changed (in a sense).
We have already been trained and in truth: I have had enough training and have no desire to be RE-trained. Yes, you can say I am copping-out or I have come to realize that the military taught me to survive in the most dangerous places on earth where everybody and their brother, mother, sister, niece etc. wanted to kill me and I survived. So, why can I not survive my new Theater of Operations using the same training?
I joined the Army to become a soldier and learned that I am a very good at it. A truth that not very many can say. I would still be one today if I had not acquired lung damage, however my heart has not changed. Once a Soldier always a soldier. I do not need non-military therapists or Psychs to tell me how to exist as a civilian. I have already been trained to survive as a civilian.

ONE: Identify - I go out into public and my 'Combat Mindset' kicks in I step back and figure out what it is that has caused me to revert to that mindset. It can be something simple as a war movie on the television I am looking to buy? A child shooting his toy gun at everyone? or 50 people in line at the register waiting to cash out.
The point is that I stop and Identify the trigger.

TWO: Interpret - ie: the movie bothers me? I leave and find another way to let the salesman know I want that TV ignoring the movie (mental note- avoid that movie). The child is no threat, Just a little one being a little one and react accordingly, and the 50 people at the register? - I leave.
The reality being is that I take a moment to decide whether the trigger is a danger or no danger. Yes, we as individuals have to take the time to learn how to do this, because the military taught us to do it in a nano-second, but it is not retraining it is adaption. The training is still the same. The timing has changed.

THREE: React - Once the first two aforementioned actions have been completed this one is self-explanatory. We as soldiers will do what is right, because that is what we have been trained to do. There are always the exceptions to the rule and there are always those assholes that step over the line. That cannot be helped. However, The honest truth is that a Combat Veteran needs to realize that they have already been trained to deal with Surviving being a Civilian. The training is no different, the enemy has changed.
 
However, add in the fact my basic training was in 1969 (Army) and we where taught to kill, over and over and over. What's the point of the bayonet for men? To Kill!!!!
NOTE: I am an Iraq/Afghanistan Combat Veteran. Did basic in 1996. My knowledge of basic in the old days comes from my Dad (basic- 1960), so feel free to call me an a**hole idiot at anytime:cautious:

Every soldier no matter the branch is trained to kill, but let me ask this:

Trained to shoot blindly?

My money is on NO!
Why teach us Patrol Tactics? First Aid? Perimeter Security? Hasti/Foxhole construction? 4am stand-to? etc. If you trained only to kill then why was basic training so long. It would seem to me that teaching someone weapons would not take 9-12 weeks.(n)

All of us were taught to survive any situation with what was available to us. Killing the enemy was a priority, however surviving until we got on the plane was the endgame. Why?
You were trained to survive not DIE!!! Yes, there are those that never make the plane and that is a fact of war that I wish I had the magic bullet to fix, however Combat does not work that way.

Ya'll are home and you need to stop focusing on the DAMN TRIGGER FINGER!!! THEY ARE USELESS HERE back home with the Civ's.

IMO

Patrick
 
Welcome OIF. We are all familiar with your challenges. Terribly sorry to hear you had to deal with MST as well.

You noted a them we should not have to deal with but most do and the sooner you put it behind you the better. I summarize it as stigma, mostly self-induced. The shame for not losing a limb or being "properly wounded (what ever the hell that means), denial of problems, won't seek treatment, afraid to be labeled, etc. It is in part one reason you so easily blew-up at being asked about your service.

Vets often carry around this shame partly due to our training to suck it up and move on which after combat becomes ignoring the beast or being worried of being labeled "crazy." So we isolate. You gotta acknowledge yourself and preach to your battle buddies that you got a legit combat wound. It is just different than what the movies and commercials and puke non-affected civilians understand. Actually, there are plenty of movies & songs that deal with it we just never realized it at the time, like "The Deer Hunter" and many more, basically any good war movie. You'll start to notice it now that you understand.

The stigma comes also from outsiders too. Even today, there will be a bunch of wounded warriors at some big event and the politician there for a photo op will looked around with a stupid, ignorant look everyone there understands as: so where are all the wounded warriors, meaning guys in the wheel chairs, insulting the combat wounded standing all around him. Dumbasses.

There is nothing you can do about those pukes. But you can start being real with yourself. Accept your wounds as valid. And understand most people have no clue how to approach you about your combat experience.

OBTW, you will forever question the validity of your combat status but once you understand the Beast keeps you in its grip, especially after you think it went away (LOL, right), than you will know your combat wounds are real.

Welcome Home. Be sure to check out the media section. Peace!
 
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