Undiagnosed Warm hello to everyone! ptsd vs hsp?

[Lesza]

Hello! I apologize in advance for mistakes, English is not my mother tongue ;)

I have been wondering recently about the difference between hsp and c-ptsd. I’m not sure which one relates to me. I’m told very often I’m just over-sensitive but I’ve accidentally learnt about c-ptsd and started some research. I’ve been watching some tv show and discovered that I share night terrors and jumpiness with one of the main characters who is likely to have ptsd. I started browsing possible causes of night terrors and trauma appears to be one of the sources.

I’ve started to dig deeper, mainly because I’m going to the traineeship to another country and I’ve wanted to get rid of my night terrors before that. They were much more violent when I was a child, people tell me that when it started when I was 4-5, it was difficult for two people to hold me so I wouldn’t smash on the wall. Now it’s much less violent but still, people will be alarmed by my screaming and I don’t want to disturb them at night.

I’m sure that my experiences aren’t so severe as yours, I feel kinda silly considering myself traumatized – it may be indeed the matter of my oversensitivity and a weak personality.

I read a lot but I would love to hear an opinion from people who know the subject from experience and have some deeper insight. Could you point me main differences between hsp and c-ptsd? When hsp stops to be only hsp? Any piece of information will be priceless for me.

Take care!

 

[Friday]

Could you point me main differences between hsp and c-ptsd? When hsp stops to be only hsp? Any piece of information will be priceless for me.

The most major difference is that being a highly sensitive person is a personality (like being artistic, or mathematical, or charismatic), while PTSD is a medical diagnosis.

PTSD Diagnosis - What is PTSD? Understand The Signs of PTSD

The second biggest difference is causal. PTSD requires a Criterion A level trauma to have started it.

A very important thing to note about PTSD is that each and every single one of its symptoms are found in different disorders. The things you've listed (including traits of being a highly sensitive person) are also commonly found in Sensory Processing Disorder, High Functioning Autism, ADHD, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, as well as several others. Even having CritA trauma isn't enough to diagnose PTSD. Most people who experience CritA trauma don't go on to develop PTSD. Conservatively, only about 1:5 do. But that trauma can also serve as a stressor, making other disorders and conditions infinitely worse. So the symptoms alone aren't enough to diagnose (since they're shared) and the cause alone isn't enough (since trauma can cause or exacerbate many other things). They're both required, both the cause & the constellation of symptoms, & they have to not be better explained by something else.

If you suspect it might not just be your personality, but that you have an underlying disorder? I would very strongly recommend seeking a diagnosis. NOT a specific diagnosis, but the entire diagnostic process. Which will include a physical (to rule out physiological causes, probably including a sleep study, since you struggle with night terrors) & then a very lengthy series of psychological tests and interviews. Because it doesn't do any good to be treating the wrong disorder or condition, and can often do quite a bit of harm.

 

[Lesza]

Oh, thank you so much for the response! So helpful, I must now think it over. I really want to improve myself, for the sake of others – I don’t want to hurt them. I’ll answer more later - waisted time on a headache ;)

Thank you once again!

 

[Lesza]

I want to thank you once more - it's great to meet people who actually care and devote their time to read :) Maybe you’re surprised that I’m writing on an English forum – it’s because when I write about myself in a foreign language, I feel less ‘attached’ and it’s much easier for me that way :) When I try to write in Polish, something blocks me, so please, bear me for a while ;P

I would love to seek a professional help but I’m not sure if I can manage financially right now – I study and work and it’s enough only for the most basic needs, like food. Besides, I live in a small community, every gossip about me grows to the monstrous size – like recently, I had an accident, nothing big, just blackout with a small blood loss from the cut head, and everyone were gossiping that I was dying in hospital, annoying my mother a lot with silly questions ;) I can imagine what would they say about my psychiatrist visits. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t care what they say about me because I’m used to dealing with it, I’m worried about my family. I’ve already tasted people’s attitude toward those who don’t ‘fit’. As a loner, I’m freaky enough ;)

Hm, maybe there is some underlying disorder. I know only that at first, I was a very energetic and loving child, when I grow a bit older, I changed temporarily into an emotionless monster (at least that’s how I remember it), then, when I was around 8, I was more like hsp – liked writing stories, started to be very empathic and also, very sensitive – both with mind and body (have very sensitive skin for example). So, I don’t really know if I am hsp or it’s something else, a disorder for instance.

I’ve made a list of possible traumatizing events but they are not very serious in my opinion – I was just too weak to protect myself, it was my fault that things happened, I could have made something to prevent them, don’t panic so much. I got parasomnia with violent night terrors and nightmares after three things that were occurring more or less in the same time frame – being repetitively left alone at home (each time when I woke up I was terrified and screaming – don’t remember that, others who witnessed it told me), my grandma’s abuse (can’t recall, I know some of it from persons who saved me) and other children’s bulling (I can’t recall most of it, just a few events like being trapped with dogs – a punishment for wanting to play with other kids, or locked in a dark basement). After years, I still relive in my dreams and night terrors those and some later events, that’s why people who hear me think that I’m still abused by someone and I have to repeat I’m fine over and over, kinda boring ;) I had a few visits at psychologist when I was a child, I don’t remember them but my mother says it was because of my parasomnia – mainly sleepwalking – but the lady told that nothing is wrong with me.

I was wondering also about my somatic symptoms – I’ve been visiting doctors but there is no cause found. I mean heartaches, chronic migraines, muscle and bones pain, etc. Today I received a suggestion again that I may have a heart disease (from my endocrinologist), like my late father, but I got some examination when I was a teenager and nothing was found. When I visit a doctor and suggest an examination, he says it isn’t necessary and tell me to take tranquilizers - there is no reason why I shouldn’t listen to him, I’m not a doctor after all. They don’t help so I’ve just learnt not to react to pain, especially strong heartaches, and I’m perfectly fine with it, I’m not dying after all :) Just wondered if I can ease it a bit, that maybe it is something with my mind, not with the body.

And I’m concerned with my memory problems – it get worse after my recent accident, I forget even important things, have memory holes. Maybe it’s only the result of concussion, I don’t know. I wish I had a memory from the time when I was 4, I remembered everything with great details, whole books or preaches from the church – maybe I must hit my head again to fix it ;)

Well, I am aware that I cannot seek help in the internet or try to help myself – I’ve just wanted to explore some possibilities. When I have a chance, I will visit a specialist. I must just be patient :)

Sorry for the textwall, seems I just love to complain ;P

 

[Abigail7]

It seems like you're minimizing your symptoms and blaming yourself for being weak, as if strong people don't have such struggles. You're not weak in the least. Last week my minister told me that my gift is being highly sensitive and in tune to everyone around me, her way of saying HSP. It's also a burden at times, as you very well know. Being HSP or having sleep issues is in no way indicative of a weak personality! I personally feel bad for people on the other end of the spectrum who are emotionless. My emotions make me feel ALIVE and I wouldn't want it any other way. Being the exact opposite of a HSP? That would feel like death to me. I don't think life would be all that interesting without emotions. It's a gift, so find a way to accentuate the good parts of being HSP while wrangling in the not so good parts as to minimize pain.

 

[Lesza]

Thank you, Abigail. I think that being sensitive is beautiful indeed – I just believe I have too much of it ;)

I try to dismiss that deeply rooted feeling that I could avoid some things or be at least stronger. I think about others who endured some harsh moments and I don’t call them weak – I never judge people like that. I just can’t stop thinking that I am pathetic, I know myself after all. I try to talk about it with my mother but she tells me that I should stop behave like a child, that my life has been too easy and that’s why I behave like a delicate princess. She had a very difficult life, childhood with an extremely abusive mother – she was many times close to death. I tasted only a shred of my grandma’s cruelty. I know that I should be ashamed, comparing my experiences with her. She talks about it every time I start whining to remind me that I had actually a very happy and safe childhood. She says that life will teach me how to be strong, I believe it’s true. But I have to stop being clumsy and irresponsible. People tell me to get over it, and I really try to, I try my best. I just feel that every day is a struggle, I’m very exhausted psychically – feel sleepy all the time, wake up tired – especially after waking up several times at night. I am constantly agile, trembling and crying when emotions overwhelm me without a significant reason, my silly jumpiness makes people laugh. I just can’t control it. When someone asks me to stay still, my body becomes very tense, my pulse jumps high and I start shivering, every medical scan is blurred because if it – people are quite irritated and ask why I can’t stay still – I really don’t know why my body becomes so nervous. There is a heavy tension inside, even if there is no threat – I am adult, I should be able to overcome it. There were situations during my childhood when I was trapped and threatened with violent death if I dared to move so I sat still for hours – but it was over 20 years ago, I don’t even remember it clearly.

Even writing here makes me literally sick, I feel guilty that I actually shared that with someone – thought it would be easier ;) I read others’ threads and I wish to response but I become blocked, I just can’t force myself. But I’ve always wanted to help others, show them they are not alone and I really care, so I must get stronger no matter what. There are people here who need help much more than me. I still feel like a child, time to grow up eventually. I will try on my own for now, when I have a chance I will meet experimentally with a specialist and return to the forum :) Thank you all, take care! You are amazing, people! :)