Childhood Was This Normal?

[theshadowoftheliving]

Remembered something last night that I had forgotten. When I was in high school, my mom used to crawl into bed with me at night when she was upset, totally uninvited, and hold me all night while she cried. Full-on body contact hold, every square inch of her pressed against me, sprawled over me, closer than I've ever even slept with sexual partners as an adult. Her groin pressed against me, her breasts squashed into me. I remember it making me so uncomfortable I though I would vomit, and if I tried to get away she would just hold tighter, and eventually my mind would just go blank and I wouldn't remember anything.

This wasn't normal, right?

 

[Cannottakethis]

Definitely not normal. Total boundary crossing on so many levels.
I'm sorry you had to go though that.

 

[Holdingontohope]

I agree with everything Shells said. What your mother did was not normal.

 

[Poofycat]

Not normal at all. Sounds awful. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that.

 

[Gs172003]

Was she naked?

 

[Gs172003]

I guess I'm trying to think of this as somebody that would never think of their kids in a sexual way but might need them for support. Holding them it would never occur to me about body parts touching, just that I was holding my child. That's all. But that's just me

 

[Snowflake]

Remembered something last night that I had forgotten. When I was in high school, my mom us...

Not normal! Not appropriate on any level! Not just the bodily contact- which was totally wrong even if she was dressed or undressed but also the fact that she turned to you for emotional comfort -her child. I'm sorry for all of it!

 

[Silver.]

I don't see it as a sexual act. I don't think it is inappropriate to snuggle with your family members, if they want to. You didn't in this situation and that's what makes it inappropriate.
I see it that she was using you for comfort in place of someone else, the kind of closeness as an adult we seek in a partner.
You were not her partner, you are her child, so she shouldn't have put that kind of emotional stress on you.

 

[Casey_03]

I would say this crosses a boundary, but at the same time it doesn't sound like there was anything sexual about it. More of an emotional thing, I think. My mom did this to me a few times when she was experiencing especially rough times, but it was never for the entire night.

 

[Snowflake]

Also-If it makes you feel uncomfortable-it's inappropriate -

 

[Gs172003]

I don't see it as a sexual act. I don't think it is inappropriate to snuggle with your family members,...

She shouldn't rely on a child ( you) for emotional support. My ex husband would use my kids as therapists. No. Really. But was I doubt it was sexual or it would have not just have been only when she was upset.

 

[PointlessExistence]

It was wrong on many levels, and I believe it was a sexual act. She was definitely getting some level of sexual gratification from that. I remember my 2 year old daughter coming into my bed in the morning and jumping on me when I'd have a morning erection. Even though there was a blanket and a sheet between her and me, I would have to turn away from her and let her jump and frolic on my side or back. Otherwise there would be some level of sexual stimulation just from the pressure against my erection. I think your mother was giving into that kind of stimulation - almost a sort of collateral sexual gratification. I think she was hugging you for emotional comfort but was also enjoying the coincidental sexual contact that came with it. I think she enjoyed the sexual comfort of her breasts and groin pressing against you.