Weird

[Bluemoonwillow]

not sure what this counts as. I was cooking for someone this morning. I am not sure what happened but the next thing I knew I had the knife Inwas cutting sausage with up to my throat. When I realized it I was scared. Didn't remember doing it, I only know it happened. I am not aware of any suicidal feelings, or even negative thoughts, but it happened just the same. I think I may be loosing my mind.

 

[Justmehere]

I don't think you are losing your mind, but this had to be really scary to experience.

There have been two times when I was working through trauma when I later suddenly found myself doing something impulsive and awful to my body. I wasn't suicidal or self injurious at the time, no negative thoughts of wanting to hurt myself or anything. My therapist said it's like a trauma reenactment in flashbacky type of dissociative way. I don't know if I am so sure of that myself, but it kinda makes sense. It was really scary to deal with.

 

[StephenStevens]

not sure what this counts as. I was cooking for someone this morning. I am not sure what happened...

Whatever I tell you, it wouldn't be appropriate. I am not aware of your entire sitaution or what you are going through. In that regard, it is best to confine in your therapist or someone else who is in your vicinity. Hopefully, such an episode will not reoccur and you will remain in good health. I hope everything goes well for you!

 

[lostforgottensoul]

not sure what this counts as. I was cooking for someone this morning. I am not sure what happened...

I end up sotting on the very active train tracs next to my house and dont remember how i got out of my house let alone there. Its a disassociation, for me. But also for me is the act of fight urges (urges to cut, to self do rituals, to self do punishments...) of i fight them i end up sucicodal or end up there...

 

[OrganicRobot]

*hugs*

I've never gotten that dissociative where I lost complete mental control of myself, thought I've had some serious surreal dissociative experiences. It must have been very alarming and disorienting for you. I hope you'll be able to sort through why this is happening and what is triggering such. Best of luck, and well wishes.