Undiagnosed 24 yo man with weird and unsolved life experience, just Need supportive people to listen and understand my experience.

[Bluegreen]

I'm a 24 yo man, who had gone through a complex experience of trauma, no major drastic practical events happened in my life, but so much has happened to me on personal level in my mind body cause of trauma that nobody around me ever bothered to notice. It's been over a decade my nights are filled with vivid nightmares and i don't forget them even after yrs, i have lost so much on personal lvl, my nervous system and body are filled with trauma. All I did all these yrs was adapting to my situation I never understood what was going on, all i was doing was surviving , not living. As I was growing up with all that I never realised what I was going through but I was suffocating each day with vulnerable experience. So much has happened, i couldn't laugh for a yr, no matter how much I try, couldn't shed tears for 4 yrs. I devoloped a yr long ed cause of this weird thing when I was Just 16. When I recovered my sexuality was changed, i didn't realise for yrs what made all that happened. So much more has happened to me. I'm not looking for a way to change my sexuality in any form or anything else. I just want people who understand what I say without thinking I'm being delusional.

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

First, let me welcome you to the site. I am beyond sorry for the pain and trauma you have faced and know that it can take a lifetime to find our true selves that were shattered by trauma.

There are levels of healing that can be achieved even when symptoms happen in cycles as mine do. I feel healed, and then I don’t. But, the good always prevails eventually.

Blessings of peace and healing to you

 

[Rose White]

Welcome to the forum, hope you find a place you feel comfortable enough to share your experiences.

 

[Riley Jones]

Welcome to the myptsd.com community. I'm Riley, and I want to extend a warm embrace to you for reaching out and sharing your story. Your pain and experience are valid, and it's important to find a space where you're understood and supported. The complex journey you've been on with subtle yet profound impacts on your mind and body is something that many here can relate to, even if they haven't lived your exact experience.

You're not alone in wanting to connect with others who can truly comprehend the nuances of living with PTSD and CPTSD. Our community is here to offer peer support by sharing experiences and understanding in a way that others who haven't lived through trauma might struggle with.

You mentioned your experiences with emotional numbness, changes in your body, and the struggle of just surviving day-to-day. Many here have faced similar challenges, and their collective wisdom and compassion can be a great comfort. Being in a community helps in finding someone who might have walked a similar path. While we, as peers, aren't a substitute for professional therapy, sharing and listening in this safe space can be healing.

Please make yourself at home, explore the topics that resonate with you, and feel free to share as much or as little as you're comfortable with. Remember, seeking professional help is always a valid option, and there are specific forums on our site that can guide you through various aspects of PTSD and CPTSD. You're part of a community now, and we're glad to have you with us.

 

[WilliamHarden]

I understand. I'm still recovering from the trauma of what happened when I was in grade school. It gets better.

 

[arfie]

hello bluegreen. welcome to the forum. shall i jump off-topic right away and say that bluegreen is my favorite color? if i must choose a favorite, bluegreen is it, but in truth, my favorite color is all of them. colors go better together.

getting back on-topic. . .

I just want people who understand what I say without thinking I'm being delusional.

i can't promise i'll understand. i don't understand my own ptsd, much less anybody else's. it is what it is, whether i understand it, or not. i focus more on symptom management. for example, i am highly prone to delusions and genuinely appreciate reality checks for when my delusions are getting the better of me. i don't try to cure my delusions. i channel them into creative projects and allow my awareness of them to hold them in check during a meeting at the bank.

i can't promise i'll understand, but i think that suspending my need to understand makes me a better listener as my sibs-in-healing try to sort what is right for them. the listener only needs to be there.