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What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

DISAPPOINTED IN MYSELF. LET DOWN BY OTHERS. AFRAID. ANGRY. ALONE. BLESS TO STILL BE ALIVE. CONFUSED. I KNOW GOD IS IN THE MIDDLE OF ALL MY PAIN AND THERE IS ALWAYS A TEST BEFORE A TESTIMONY! MAD AT MY CPTSD FOR DUMPING WHEN I FINALLY NEED HIM TO BE HERE FOR ME EMOTIONALLY. ISOLATED....SHAME...I LIED AND SAID THAT MY CLASSES WAS CANCELED TODAY BECAUSE I WAS TOO DEPRESSED TO GO..I ALWAYS LIE VS TELLING THE WHOLE TRUTH TO AVOID LOOKING CRAZIER..
 
My neurosurgery appt. is tomorrow and I am so afraid its not surgical (I'm in so much pain and I am having trouble walking) and I'm so afraid its surgical.

Hi Monster,

I think I get what you mean,...you want it to work but your afraid that means something invasive but equally you don't want it to be unsuccessful. I would have hoped they would have explained it all properly before to minimize your worry.

Anyway, good luck for it, I'll keep my fingers crossed...(((((((((((((((((((:hug:))))))))))))))))))))
 
Physically I'm in a lot of pain today. Emotionally I seem to be content. Somehow for some reason my social life has really picked up lately and I'm very grateful for it. It's done wonders for my mood as well as my new medication. I'm feeling hopeful that my self esteem is benefitting from this.

@ monster - Dr. Appts like that are really scary. I feel for you, I'm in a bit of a medical fix right now myself. Not to compare our situations at all but if you want to vent about medical issues I'd be more than happy to vent with ya. Message me anytime should you care to :D

@ greenfrog - ((hugs!!)) <(^.^<)

@ KatB- ((hugs)) sorry you're having such a rough time today. I had a really hard time sleeping the other night, lots of night terrors. Hopefully you can get some good restful sleep tonight.

@ DMS - ((hugs)) sounds like a rough day. But there's nothing wrong with taking a day off, and I'm not sure if this will mean much to you but... You may have told someone else that class was cancelled today but you were true to yourself. You know WHY you didn't go. You can express that freely and safely here. And that's something worthwhile.
 
Honored that my sister felt she could confide in me after almost losing her son to an overdose. She said she knows I have a kind heart and that I have been the only person she has really talked to since it happened. I felt honored and grateful that she felt she could come to me.

Most the time I think I'm not a 'good' person. It's nice when it is affirmed that I am. Is that conceited?
 
Still have sinus headaches and pain in my face. My eyes hurt.

I have to act as an escort for my sis-in-law's mother tomorrow. She has to go to the hospital for an x-ray and the staff at the home said she has to have an escort. My sis-in-law still isn't well so I said I'd do it but it means my H has to drop me off at the retirement home as he needs the car. Then we go to the hospital in a specially ordered taxi with wheelchair access and I will wheel her to x-ray. Later, I have to ring the taxi company to come get us.

When we get back to the home I will have to ring my sister to pick me up and take me home.

I hope it doesn't snow as I am nervous enough about doing this let alone going in bad weather.
 
I want to reach out, to receive comfort but I don't have anyone I can do this with and it makes me miss someone. Still, I'm glad I'm at this stage, I want to build :) , but you can't hurry love, you just have to sodding wait :banghead: :spitdummy: :grumpy: . Having someone to hug and hold hands with would be priceless though. I feel like everything I long for I have o go about in a counter intuitive way, natures little joke!
 
I'm feeling pretty damn good. I'm proud of myself.

H is away until Thursday and so far it is fine. I'm enjoying my own company. Today I made black cherry jam after putting it off for months.

My neck and shoulder are still very painful so I am taking it easy. Tomorrow I am going to a conference with my manager. She phoned tonight and tried to get me to drive, she had said she would. I'm proud that I said no. The drive isn't an 'easy' one and I know there are a couple of awkward junctions at which I would struggle to turn my neck.

I will spend a little more time here and then turn off the computer and go watch some TV before bed.
 
I always worry about that if I say/think something nice about myself even if I am just saying what other's said. .

I think the very fact that you worry about that makes it not so. But I can understand to a point how you feel. I'm very hard on myself and haven't felt much pride in myself lately despite what others may say. I've been very unsure about myself but if someone I respect or if someone that really knows me says so... Well maybe they know me a little a bit more than I know myself? Especially with your sister, if your the only one she's spoken to about it... Well that right there speaks for itself. She wouldn't have spoken to you if she couldn't depend on you.
 

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