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What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

I was triggered somehow yesterday even though I have been working hard to be present. I did not sleep last night because I was talking, crying and screaming whenever I started to doze off. Now I can barely keep my eyes open but I have to drive my son to school this am. So, I don't really know how to describe my feelings today. Anxious?
 
I am feeling better. When I woke up I was negative, and I changed that right away. I am practicing replacing negative thoughts with positve thoughts. I am feeling pretty good right now. I do not know what this day will throw at me, but I will keep on practicing this. I want to make it a lifelong habit. I am so glad I made the choice and the commitment.
 
I think I feel despair. Not sure if that what is is, though. Even when I am having my worst symptoms, there is always a small piece of me that knows it will win, that we will survive. That piece is not here now.

All I see today is a future where my symptoms and physical health slowly decline until they take me out. That no matter how hard or well I fight, I will lose. I don't have any coping skills to deal with this.
 

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