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What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

Angry, hurt, shattered, alone

I’ve been treated like I’m not important by my parents and now by my spouse. I feel like my soul has been shattered into so many pieces I’ll never be whole again. I have no support system, I’m working through emotional flashbacks and current emotional abuse/neglect on my own with my therapist. My only true friend passed away suddenly in 2011, and my mom always one-ups me whenever I talk about what I’ve gone through. The only one who is affectionate and understanding is my daughter, and she only sees that I’m upset. She’s not an adult, however, so I will not burden her. If my husband cared as much as he says, he would be supportive but he only adds to my triggers. So, I’m on my own and it makes me feel less human every day.
 
A bit hurt. Familiar feeling. It likes to eat my inner critical thoughts, make it swell up to a fair size.
Setting An intention to be curious about it instead of staying stuck in it.
 
Stressed, sad, angry, confused.
When memories are bubbling under the surface with my DID what happens is I feel all the emotions first. It can be days, weeks of emotions building, feeling more erratic and I search and search my brain and can't access the cause and then suddenly memories will hit me.
That's what's been happening.
Building building emotions that make me want to scream and cry simultaneously but never allow me that release because the reason behind it is still elusive.
 
Depressed, sad, angry. I have been having a few hard weeks due to losing a good friend and having Grandpas anniversary last month. He passed away 8 years ago. All of this has created lots of PTSD flashbacks and dissociation.
 
So much for 'wings' , @Rani G2 . 😁

I feel regret, to have thought to fall back to trying to do what brought me help before, because I forgot now what's absent, I suppose the feeling of safety based from trust and thinking their was care (basic). I also feel sick, Idk what my guts or kidneys are doing but it's intolerable lately. I thought not eating made it worse, but eating made it worse still. And I don't have the energy to do what I need, and the fear and stress reduce the positives of even trying to way low on the good idea scale to the that's not an option any more. And I'm way too tired to advocate for self respect or self-needs. But surely I should steer clear of where it's not.
 
If my husband cared as much as he says, he would be supportive but he only adds to my triggers. So, I’m on my own and it makes me feel less human every day.
Totally get this. I had these feelings when I was younger. Don't let him abuse you further. My first husbAnd beat me up all the time, really bad. I lost one job that would kill me forever ( career wise) because of coming in with bruises or having to call in. He's dead now.. We were divorced for a long time. He died at 44 years old. Looked like he was 108.

Today, I know that I have to start walking again. I keep putting it off because I'm burned out on the treadmill so I ordered an inspirational audio book to help me. I did walk an hour last week on treadmill. I slipped because I was so bored ( watching tv while doing it) that I might have to get the treadmill serviced now. We'll see.
 
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