What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

[CraftyCath]

I still feel absolutely heartbroken. :cry:

My youngest Son has now decided that if he is not aloud to 'moan' about things (which he does - constantly) he will just stay in his room. That is what he has done for the past 4 days. He will come down to get something to eat but then he takes the food to his room, shuts the door and won't talk to me or his Dad.

I know he is hurting and confused but this sulking is just too much. I don't know what to do. I feel like he is punishing me. He knows that if he does this all over Christmas it will hurt us all but then that seems to be what he wants. He wants his own way and I won't put up with all the moaning, arguing and aggression. Why should I?

I've asked him to have some help, to see my therapist but in his mind he's right. I think he is Aspergic but he won't get tested.

I am at a loss as to how to help him and the emotional pain is palpable. I feel :sick: all the time, tired and my anxiety levels are through the roof (and probably my blood pressure).

I love him so much my heart is bleeding for him. :cry:

 

[Britt.f7]

to see my therapist but in his mind he's right

My brother was like this. We urged him to seek counselling when he said he was leaving his marriage. He said "she knows what she has to change", never taking his responsibility.

Maybe you should tell him that you understand that he is upset but, though is behavior is upsetting to you, he has to do what he needs to do. So if that is sulking in his room that you are sorry he feels that way.

Being a parent can be so difficult sometimes. My oldest son who is quite moody can be a challenge. I've had to step back and let him be at times. Hard when you are a mother and you just want to protect them or "fix" them. I've had to tell him that I understand his mood but that that doesn't mean he gets to take it out on the rest of us. Sometimes that works, sometimes it doesn't.

Keep talking to him when you can. He may seem like he is not listening but I'm sure he is. My son will eventually come around. He may not say that he listened to me but I can tell that he has. Sometimes I have to go to his room and talk to him in a calm but assertive voice. I do that to avoid, or hopefully avoid, any outbursts from him. I know he listened though he tried to hide his face. I wouldn't let him do that completely.

Hang in there. I know it hurts. I was actually amazed at how much it hurts when your children are hurting. I'm not sure what I expected before I had them, but I can assure you it wasn't this much hurt. Know that you are a good mom(if you weren't you wouldn't care). Don't forget you also need to meet your needs. My heart aches for you.

I hope he comes around soon.

 

[CraftyCath]

Thanks Britt. :cry:

 

[Deleted member 6617]

Scared yet hopeful for Deb and her transplant.

Scared yet determined for the responsibilities I have in her absence.

 

[CraftyCath]

:hug:'s PH.

 

[KP the nut]

(((Cath))), hang in there. You are welcome to come to mine or I can meet you. I have a spare room, well after Christmas, if you need a couple of days break.

I'm feeling better today. I have the most colourful bruise all down my left leg from scraped knee to mid calf but luckily nothing worse.

I have planned a quiet week. At home all today, tomorrow at home except for having my hair cut. Wed, lunch with 2 colleagues, then work, Thur and Fri morning, then I finish until the 2nd Jan. I do have an appointment with a facial/jaw surgeon on Thur afternoon, but I am trying to stay calm.

I feel relaxed and calm, Christmas will happen and all will be fine, maybe not magazine perfect, but my kind of perfect.

 

[Deleted member 6617]

the emotional pain is palpable

Emotional pain is so much worse than physical pain. I feel for you! Wish I had some words of wisdom instead of just empathy. Please take care of yourself and make and do what would make you happy and enjoy Christmas. Try not to make it about him. Many blessings to you over this Christmas season!

 

[CraftyCath]

Thanks PH. x

Try not to make it about him.

I think I tend to do this. My husband says that because I'm empathic by nature I seem to absorb other peoples pain as if it were my own, so double pain.

I've never been able to be happy when others are hurting, I'm not sure it is in my nature but I'll try.

 

[Hashi]

I'm feeling overwhelmingly sad. Trying to be with the feeling and allow it. Not easy. I wish my life had been different.

 

[CraftyCath]

That deep sadness is how I feel Hashi and it is soul crushing. I guess we just have to ride it.

Linking arms and sending :hug:'s your way. x

 

[safenow]

Pain, irritation for not sleeping much, again. Yesterday a funny thing happened. A couple picked me up for church, not knowing me they began talking about her mother and how they had to put her in a home. I ask why, and they said she was mental. "She has anxiety attacks. Now, how can anyone handle being around someone who has those?" I took a cleasening breathe and patiently explained how to help others with anxiety attacks. I explained she was not a mental case, she only had issues. I'm sure they won't pick me up again, as I told them, "anyone who locks someone up because they can't handle a reaction are the mental cases. Especially when that person raised you. I'm sorry your mom was so cruel to you that you can't stand to be around her when she is scared and not doing well." The ride was quiet the rest of the way as well as all the way home.

 

[Changing4Best]

Hopeful. Hopeful that the rain will stop, hopeful that my friend will take me to the Grocery, hopeful that it will be a good day and just hopeful in general.