What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

[quaintpapercut]

I can't take the long nights, short days, dysfunction of a home, and disconnected from them. I don't recognize myself anymore.

((((((KatB)))))

Its so hard sometimes, I know.

I hope I feel better soon too.

I was actually thinking of you today and wondering how you were as I haven't seen as many posts from you. I hope you feel better soon to :hug:.

Thinking of everyone whose in pain - emotional and physical.

 

[ms spock]

I am feeling angry and resentful of all that I have to deal with.

 

[ms spock]

I got to see my psychriatrist. So that was good. I felt happy about that.

 

[KP the nut]

I'm feeling tired and ready for bed.

Tomorrow is busy, work in the morning and then I have to see a photographer to have photos taken of my 3 year old scars from the accident. I must admit, I'm more nervous about that than I care to admit.

It is slightly comforting that I know (very slightly) the photographer. She lives in my small town and when the town did nude calandars to raise money for the Christmas Lights appeal, she took the photos, including one of my H :eek:. They were very good (no rude bits).

I'm seeing her straight after work. Wish me luck.

 

[MouseWedger]

Depressed. Disheartened. Numb.

 

[GreenFrog2]

Falling apart. I heard from a friend last night that my little brother is getting married in a couple of weeks. I have not had anything to do with my family for many years - because of my parents, and my inability to cope with them. My brother suffered as much as I did, but I cut of contact with everyone to protect myself.

Now I don't even know what I am feeling - I crashed and slept for 10 hours past night, which is unheard of. Now I am awake I want to explode with sadness. I have missed so much not having a family and I wish that things were different.

When asked if I was invited to the wedding, my brother said that he had no way of getting in touch with me. This is not entirely true, but maybe he does not know what to do about the situation? Maybe he hates me? Maybe I am about to fall apart......

empathy and suggestions on how to cope greatly appreciated!

 

[99Phoenix99]

I am ripshit. I can't even believe this. I was having such a great day despite the fact that tomorrow I have a medical procedure scheduled. A medical procedure that I loathe because it hurts like hell but I need it because it deals with my chronic health issues.

I've been preparing for this for the past two months. I've been doing all the phone calls and prep info because it's considered day surgery. At 5pm I got a call saying be to the hospital for 11am. I get home only to find out that the procedure is CANCELLED. How do I find out? Apparently the hospital called my mother not me. I'm my own flipping gaurdian. So that's strike one. Strike two is the fact that this procedure is a colab between two surgeons one apparently was never notified about the procedure!

I have the emails! Each surgeon knew about this. They've been planning this for months. It's now a blame game between their friggin secretaries.

I'm so angry I'm shaking.

 

[ms spock]

I am not sure. I have made a long list and am going to the t tomorrow to see what needs to be cut for the time being. Rome was not built in a day! :roflmao: Sometimes I just all the sudden get what I need to work on all at once. Its like an awakening and I overwhelm myself!

So did you T assist you in culling back your overwhelming list?

 

[ms spock]

I have not had anything to do with my family for many years - because of my parents, and my inability to cope with them. My brother suffered as much as I did, but I cut of contact with everyone to protect myself.

I have missed so much not having a family and I wish that things were different.

empathy and suggestions on how to cope greatly appreciated!

I do feel for you GreenFrog2. The loss of family because you have to cut off to save yourself is a tricky one. I have no ability to cope with my family either. They are too toxic, abusive and manipulative.

I do understand cutting yourself off to protect yourself.

It is a lot to miss out on having a family - and I, too, wish that things had been different.

So I am sending much empathy and lots of encouragement to be gentle with yourself.

Self soothing, self care and and getting yourself lots of comfort is the way to go, at this time.

 

[GreenFrog2]

I don't think that I have ever felt so sad and shamed. I have decided to send my brother a card, and if I am feeling really brave will try and facebook my other brother to.

It's really scary, but I feel that I need to make contact. Maybe we will reconcile (my friend who told about the wedding said that "in family's these things can usually be sorted out", and if not then at least I will know that there is nothing there. Then I might be able to grieve and put the hope of "family" behind me.....

 

[Britt.f7]

but maybe he does not know what to do about the situation

He probably doesn't know what to do. You two chose differently with how to handle your parents. Doesn't make what you did wrong, just different. Though I didn't totally cut off ties, I definitely put a distance between myself and my family. Sometimes my sister just does not "get" this. Sometimes she does. When she doesn't, it doesn't mean she stopped loving me.

It doesn't sound like you stopped loving your brothers. I hope you do try to get in touch with them. They may or may not be okay with your boundaries. At least you will know. I wish you healing through all of this.

 

[ms spock]

Make sure you flesh all the details out with your psychriatrist or psychologist GreenFrog2.

I don't know your particular family situation. In my family no wedding would help sort out my family issues.

If your brother suffered as much as you did - he might not be able to interact with your overture. But I don't know your particular circumstances.

You would want your boundaries to be firm and clear, and you need to be clear about not getting drawn in to be the scapegoat if something went wrong surrounding your brother's weddings. Weddings are stressful. So you need to take that into account as well.