I feel a bit brave making the call to the police asking about the preliminary police-rapport my therapist told me to try to get a hold of. But I also feel very scared, confused and filled with anxiety bordering to a panic attack. At the same time I feel relief, gratefulness and a small piece of hope(like a beam of light). (Confusing!) Tired and stressed out, nervous and fragile. But proud to be able hold the self-hate and SI's at bay just for now.