What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

[Recovery4Me]

I feel like a clean slate...not numb; not content ....close to peaceful but with a pull of expectation.

 

[BlackbirdSinging]

I feel guilty and confused. I'm questioning my thoughts and impressions about my mom. Maybe what I think is distorted. Maybe my feelings are biased due to suppressed anger that's surfacing. Maybe I shouldn't be talking about it so much. Maybe I'm reading into things and seeing it wrong. Maybe the problem with my mom isn't what I think it is. Maybe the problem is I'm distorting it and making it into something else.

She's not terrible. I'm mad at her though. She says and does things I don't like. But is that her problem or mine? It's confusing. I'm not sure how to process things about my mom right now.

 

[Recovery4Me]

@BlackbirdSinging (((hugs))) That is a very responsible and deep set of feelings and thinking. Perhaps a thread may lend to some expression and consideration of views? May be a bust for you with what you do not need but then working backwards with dissembling 'what you do not think' also leaves the clean plate for what you do believe. xx There is also a shot that it might work positive too and some could reflect just as you feel allowing you more comfort. jmho
~~~~~~~~~~

I feel good to have others to share with that care about their mental health and inner heart.

 

[BlackbirdSinging]

@BlackbirdSinging (((hugs))) That is a very responsible and deep set of feelings....

That's a good idea. Although I feel paranoid she'd somehow find the thread and bad things would happen. Maybe I can post about it in my trauma diary since that's private from nonmembers.

 

[Recovery4Me]

@BlackbirdSinging :tup: I feel grand that you are expressing and please feel free to tag if you would like an extra older friend to actively listen. You are very kind here and rarely ask for any consideration... No problem either way. :hug: However I am proud of you for trying so hard to be true and healthy.:hug:

 

[Britt.f7]

Discouraged about my health. The butthead doctor said he was cutting me off from neurology. Which makes me assume he doesn't think I have dysautonomia, which I was diagnosed with by one of his colleagues about 8 years ago. A recent genetic test I had done said I do not have one of the markers of dysautonomia. They didn't check the rest. So can someone tell me what is going on? Obviously something is wrong health wise. Do I or don't I? Am I going to have to go through the process again of searching for what is wrong with me? Am I up to it? I don't want to have to start over. I am so frustrated. I just want to go to bed and call it a day.

 

[Recovery4Me]

@Britt.f7 (((hugs))) Bedrest can be good for the soul and a delightful diversion to rumination. When you are ready to engage the giant wheels of medical bunk...be fresh and determined as always! You have my full compassion for this turn of events. There are so many of us struggling with "name this crap, please".

Prayers, candles and luv.

 

[Britt.f7]

@Recovery4Me Thank you so much for the hugs, candles(I have one lit), prayers and love. I appreciate it so much. I'm not looking forward to weeding through doctors. My husband pointed out it only shows that I do not have just one marker, there are others. He just wants his wife back.

 

[Tinyflame]

Tired, covered without notice much of an absent co-worker's shift as well as my own for the 2nd day in a row. But not tired enough to sleep. :(

Bored with people who are dishonest.

Used.Played tor a fool.

Oh, hee, I know the term: passionately apathetic to such things! :p Exit, stage left. :roflmao:

 

[Changing4Best]

I woke up early, so I finally got up, because staying in bed was too much for me. I was so excited about all the things I wanted to do today, that I got to them almost immediately. I weighed myself and found that I had lost a few pounds (thankfully, because I had gained a few the last time I had checked). I then had breakfast, read my Bible and then came online. I am enjoying the day, so I am in a HAPPY mood today, YEAH!

 

[Lionheart]

I feel that someone is trying to control my behavior and it makes me angry. I feel upset and quite PO'd. I will deal with it in a peaceful way, but I am still angry.

 

[Tinyflame]

I feel sick to my stomach. :sick: :sick: :sick:

I also feel badly to express myself, including on this thread (except for happy stuff). I think I understand why: anything that is off-putting to me interpersonally (ever) & whatsoever, infers (to me) that I'm being judgmental of another, & who am I to judge. Plus, I can only recognize it because I'm familiar enough with it because I've done it too. :(

Funny thing is really, I don't actually care about it. Nor do I care to question other people's choices/ desires/ etc. What I do wish or have at those times is a very strong reminder I wish I could do a do-over in my life. Scrap it & start over, maybe even with a person or two who actually cared. I mean, if that was legitimately possible, avoid ones who don't. It wouldn't bother me one bit how phony people may or may not be or seem, that's their 'thing', if I felt there was anyone who was just kind/ not BS'ing. But, like most of us that's my problem, my choices.

Just reminds me at my core what a waste of time & breath & life. Also a funny feeling to be treated like you're stupid. Although, technically I didn't begin life being stupid, perhaps though I've become so? Although I think if I were, life would actually be a bit easier if my brain had a switch. I do experience some of my life trying to be kind while treated without that respect or dignity though. How does that make me feel.. ?.. Sad, stupid to tolerate it, regretful, hopeless, un-engaged, desirous to flee.