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What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

I know I'd forget somebody if I thanked y'all by name but wow, thanks for being there, or is it here? I really appreciate it. Hugs and hugs and thank you.

It's taking some focus and effort, but I'm pretty sure this is connected to the core if it loops around so many scars. Embarrassed not to have a word for it. I know it'll hurt worse before it gets better, it's one of those kind of things. I'll be okay. I'm okay right now, it's just taking a lot of focus and effort.
 
I'm feeling really tired today, only managed a little carpet ripping up today, and then packed in for the day. My sister face timed me earlier today, as she is off on her skiing holiday with her mates today, I'm glad she is having a break, she could do with it.

When I finished working I went for a shower, still have that drain to contend with while showering?

Then, I got that loneliness feeling again, but I soon shook that off, and watched my recorded episodes of Robot Wars, my favourite TV program, that along with the old 80s favourite program Minder, that cheered me up.
 
Aggravated. I know people are busy but how hard is it to text a response to an invite? I texted each parent over 8 days ago...plenty of time to respond. Yes or no.

Invited 3 of my daughter's friends, heard nothing from two of their parents. So, assumed it was a no to come over. Then last minute they call asking if their kids can still come?

I'm happy to have them over (good for my daughter to keep connected to her friends) but have some consideration.

Now, I have to run back out to store (again) and buy more food. The invite was for pizza and a movie.

Just annoying.
 
I can't really identify today's feelings well, because I am and have been entirely too overwhelmed with this, that and the other.

So then, I guess... Overwhelmed.

However, if I'm remembering correctly, some of the day I did not show my confusion, frustration nor overwhelm. That part of the day I was able to robotically focus and complete one needed and expected task after the other.

Presently, I feel like I really need to grieve the loss of necessary intelligence (a permanent loss or temporary - Idk) for which I'm confronted regularly, even sometimes daily. Gee' I wanna say this sucks, then I feel ashamed for saying this.

Anyhow, on a more positive front, intelligence never brought me anywhere with Ptsd, personally. Anyhow, in fact it threatened and repulsed a good many. And, when serious, unacknowledged brain injuries and demylenating disorder was first added to my traumas and/or initial Ptsd, and without receiving any help and thereafter for so long complete or adequate help, ...well a real confusing and pain-in-the-ass, type of jerk - I'd become. And, quite possibly probably too often still am.

O.k. lol, how funny is that, that this was positive. Whatever.

Seriously though, on a positive front, I'm alive, showing up for life, so often considerate and thoughtful of others, generally doing good hard work and I'm always trying to improve.

Tired. Overwhelmed. Disappointed. Weary. Up for the challenge. Somewhat hopeful and relieved to be heading off to bed.
 

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