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What Bad Shit You Haven't Done

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So lets be clear the name of this thread is "what bad shit haven't you done" - yahoooo!!!!!!! I GET TO VENT AND HERE GOES:
I haven't killed my case worker at DHC because she acts superior, has a god complex, and acts entitled - and is a Miss thang. When I emailed her 3 times this past week and called twice, with no reply because some important papers she sent via post - I must fill out for my re-certification - got lost in the snow storm. NO REPLY... but I want you all do know, I have not left a steaming pile of cow dung in her car overnight, slashed her tires, stuck forks in her eyes, removed her office supplies from her desk and replaced it all with jello. I haven't told her I hate her. I didn't do that shit. I did not call every 5 minutes and scream obscenities into her voicemail until it was full.
Oh I'm not done. HERE IS THE BAD SHIT I AM GOING TO DO; SPEAK TO THE DIRECTOR ON MONDAY SEND ALL THE EMAILS I POSTED TO MY WORKER AND FILE A FORMAL COMPLAINT - ALL VERY POLITELY.
AND THIS IS SOME MORE BAD SHIT I DIDN'T DO TO THE ABUSER WHO HARMED ME:
I did NOT have my sick twisted abusive father who is now in hell for all time his flesh burned off every day and regrowing excruciatingly to only be burned off again and on and on.... I did not have his body frozen with cryogenics so at some point in time in the future, we could unfreeze him, bring him back - so I could slowly and hideously torture him to death again. I didn't do that bad shit. He is the one who did the truly heinous bad shit when he was alive and tormented us all (3 of us kids grown now).... he was a scathing snake in the grass, calculating so his abuse was subtle as well as physical and overt and - the bad shit I didn't do - kill him as he lay dying and FINALLY non-verbal. Watching him die was like watching an exorcism. Sick twisted and bizarre. The kind of death - an abuser should suffer through, as - they have an idea where they are heading. I was so f*cking stupid I could not treat him dying and totally vulnerable - as he treated me my whold conscious life. I also have not forked myself in the eye. But there is a body in a closet somewhere.... I'm not saying whose....:wideeyed::devilish::speechless::mad::dead:...wow, man did that rant feel good... better than a hot shower after a month of laying in mud....thank you, thank you very much. <bows> :lurking:
 
I bombed out of nursing school after my first year due to depression and ptsd . I didn't even know that I had ptsd at the time.
Yes, I had PTSD at the time and didn't know what it was. Neither did the counselor I saw who was affiliated with the school.

Thank you. It was quite an accomplishment and at the same time difficult. Without the constant encouragement from the school counselor I wouldn't have persisted.

It would've been bad shit had I not completed nursing school because I'd have no career.
 
Tell customers when I am working that I can hear them talking shit or to stfu. I work in an open kitchen setting.

Because everyone thinks they're a fking food critic or they know how to be a professional cook because of these cooking shows on tv.
 
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I have not acted on my current situation the way I used to. Something's going to happen and I know it's going to be exactly the right thing for me because it can't happen any other way. Fighting it just brings me pain. (And everyone around me) I show up for everything, help all I can and do what needs to be done, without flipping out. (Mostly) I seriously could've started flipping out about this six months ago and would practically be having a stroke right about now if I was how I used to be. I just didn't do it this time and everyone including me is much happier regardless of the end result which like I said is going to be the way it's supposed to be anyway. It was really scary not to try and control everything but for me its better if I don't. I'm not saying I don't care I'm saying I'm not abusing myself or the people around me anymore, at least not right now!
 
I didn't quit school. I didn't quit work. I didn't run from my family. I keep messing up but I'm not quitting. Sometimes that looks like lying in bed all day, but I'm not quitting. Sometimes it means staying so f*cking busy that I can't see straight. But I'm not quitting.
I've been fighting tremors and and losing my words for two weeks now. I'm not quitting. I don't care what professors and doctors think of me anymore. I'm not quitting.

Someday I will do something useful with my life.
 
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