What Bad Shit You Haven't Done

[Ronin]

I'm not sure I may (as in that this commentary will be any helpful), but you were six, @Chincho.

There were people supposed to protect you, and take care of that threat before it becomes one. It's not your responsibility and shouldn't have ever been made to look like one.

*That face of 'how much worse am I making things by saying', cough.*

 

[Chincho]

You are right @Cashew. You haven't made things worse at all. My T and my psychiatrist say the same thing over and over.

My brain knows it's true. Maybe some day I'll believe it.

 

[Anarchy]

I'm trying to remember which American comedian had a sketch along the lines
" you're braggin about not doin shit you ain't supposed to do in the first damn place!"
:)

Well, here goes,

I've never even checked to see if the cop that was always on my parent's doorstep, trying to get me started with a trumped up criminal record as soon as I turned 10 ( he was trying very hard when I was 9)

Is still alive...

Nor have I checked on the critter that used to delight in choking me out, nor several others of that ilk.

The dep head from boarding school, who really set the tone of the place, in terms of institutionalised beatings, died of cancer. Guess he might have believed he was one who could smoke with impunity, who knows?

Not on my karma!

If there is a hell, they're not dragging me there.

 

[Ronin]

If there is a hell, they're not dragging me there.

I'm a quote you on that. Next time I need that 'why not'.

 

[Ocean5]

There were people supposed to protect you, and take care of that threat before it becomes one. It's not your responsibility

How many times has p-doc/therapist told me this... I know she is right. That I was so young I couldn't protect my brother - let along myself.

 

[Chava]

Haven't stolen any cars.
Haven't broken any windows in houses that did not belong to me (or my parents).
Haven't tried to beat anyone up (while sober).
Haven't done heroin.
Haven't even done the lottery.
Haven't started any uncontrollable fires.
Never swore in front of Grandma.
Goody-goody...

(and for the bad stuff, I've made my amends where necessary)

 

[Deleted member 29920]

Sorry this is a stupid question but have we to say bad shit we haven't done but wish we had on this thread? I'm a little confused :oops:

 

[Ronin]

May be used that way, @Cj77. My original thought was more along the lines of things that are guilt / regret / anger / despair provoking, as a 'Don't hold it in, get it out'.

 

[jaccat]

I've been thinking about this. The only thing that really comes to me is that I didn't punch, or spit in the face of the solicitor who ogled me when I opened my front door to him when I was seventeen, and who then proceeded to barge through our home claiming his right to stuff (long story). Had I knocked him down I'm sure he would have made me pay a thousandfold, but how I wanted to wipe that disgusting self satisfied lecherous smirk off his face. Still kind of regret not doing it.

 

[Ronin]

Not Helping Enough so many of people.

Foster daughter & son probably won't stop hurting, as it's two people I allow myself to hurt over.

& an ex I couldn't help escape sooner. I'm still sorry I couldn't diverge attention away from him enough. In the same time, I know he wouldn't have used it, because contrary from me, he was hopeless & contrary to many others, he wasn't following on all the nonverbal what-to-do.

& there's a whole lot of 'Haven't picked a better fight / haven't dealt better with being doped'. Wish I had sensei I had later, & wish I were able to recall lessons of those I had till that point.

Insert: I'll probably avoid this thread for a while as processing. Helpful, but hard to write.

 

[Deleted member 29920]

Thanks @Cashew :tup:

I think this would be an extremely long list for me so I'll just say - I haven't hunted down an abusive ex boyfriend and used sharp implements on his delicate areas in revenge for what he did to me.

 

[Anarchy]

Should have snitched far sooner on kids in my year at school who were choking little kids unconscious.