What Did You Learn This Year?

[The Albatross]

I've learned this year that even though I'm not mental/emotionally where I'd like to be... I got the ability now to manage very stressful situations with more evenness of character and some pretty good coping skills (though they can always be better, am I right?).

I've learned this year that I am expansive enough to be able to think past my own needs/wants and endeavor to do very difficult things that are more in line with what my spouse needs/wants/desires.

I've learned this year that my face to face support system is way to small and that I need to work more on acquiring social skills.

I've learned this year that I'm as ready as I'm ever gonna be to relocate and risk some destabilizing to have a better life.

I've learned this year that my mister is very pleased with my progress even at my rough moments/times and that he really loves me.

 

[Angela Corgan]

I have learnt that the deep seated brain pathways that make excuses for rotten relationships and tempt me to go back can be overcome! That I can survive without my T, I was offered the opportunity to see an another psychotherapist for support during the break and even though I have experienced deep shock, I have chosen not to and am fine. I have learnt that the principles I have developed dealing with my inner addictions to drama, recreating pain being right, can ne overcome but it is exhausting.I have learnt that the Metropilitan Police do not investigate historical sex abuse but just want to 'warn off the perpetrator (I'm my case too dangerous, I refused to let them do this) that the London Rape Crisis Centres refuse to allow their services to help victims going to the Police with accusations of historical abuse. I got help.in the end from Coventry. I learnt that you can know what your doing is going into long shot territory but accepting brings up very deep emotions that are connected to my past.

 

[Gadgie]

I have learned not to be so trusting with people who you thought had accepted you as family?

 

[Wazetogo]

I learned I could face an old demon.

I actually found my abuser from my childhood. I knocked on his door and introduced myself. I reminded him of what he had done some 40 years ago to me. He asked for my forgiveness. I suggested he ask for Gods forgiveness as a saw a cross on the chain around his neck and promptly told him he didn't have mine....

He died 9 days later..

I'm so thankful that I had the opportunity to say my peace. I didn't know how it was going to work out, but I'm here and not behind bars.

Merry Christmas

 

[Freedomfighter]

When in the same hellhole, dig in a different direction.

... About sums all the areas of life I've learne...

Well crap, have been digging for 6 years now, there has got to be that rainbow at the end somewhere right around the corner, hihi.

 

[Dory]

There is a sacredness in tears.
They are not the mark of weakness, but of power.
They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues.
They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love.

Washington Irving

 

[Heather]

I've also learned and this is a painful one: my mother is not a support to me.

 

[Abstract]

I've learnt that many things that I thought were me seem to rather be about trauma or the results of being exposed to dysfunction. Negative. Positive. All sorts. After thinking I had long left that phase behind and had started figuring out who I was -separating the two as best as possible and with a best guess. :rolleyes::alien::wtf::arghh;:banghead:

I've learnt how much any attempt at trusting physically hurts and how deep that goes for me.

I have learnt how much I see things differently to the rest of family.

I've learnt that asking someone for help (when the person and situation is carefully thought through) doesn't automatically mean that doom immediately ensues. Maybe its not the same as painting a big red target on oneself. :cautious: Not totally convinced though.

I've learnt that change can happen even when it literally is impossible in ones mind.

I've learnt that parts of our personality need feeding and nurturing otherwise they can die. Wish I'd understood that before.

I've at last - after years and years and years of painstaking relentless hard slog - learnt to automatically self nurture at times instead of toxic self disgust and hatred. self bullying and what amounts to physical and other self abuse. Its a revelation. Now if only I could do it more. Can see why we are supposed to learn this in childhood. :rolleyes: Not doing it multiplies pain and dysfunction by about 50 times at least short term. Long term? Immeasurable.

I've learnt that some people truly do have happy childhoods and feel warm and nourished by visiting family. Safe.

I've learnt that I have never truly become used to telling people what to do.

I've learnt that I have an underlying belief that I don't deserve financial comfort. Surprised by that.

I've learnt that some of my friends emotional distance is a direct result of me imposing that and nothing to do with them. :bag:

I've learnt new ways that my mother triggers me and I'm not sure why.

I've learnt a little more understanding of those with health anxieties.

That's my long and random collection!! :x3:

 

[I_will_recover]

That I'm not alone in this journey. And just this week I learned to sit with my pain and anger. And to allow myself to push back when push on.
But mostly, that I'm not alone and the importance of letting others know they aren't either.

 

[8888]

I learned my dog can help me go into the basement alone when I am scared.
I've learned to better love myself.

 

[Freedomfighter]

So I was reflecting on what I have learned this year, so I was wondering what everyone else learned. I...

I think I learned to just live one day at a time, sounds cliche I know.

 

[trying2movefwd]

I learned that some things are best left unsaid.