What Do You Talk About In Therapy?

[TimeToHeal]

Hi all....

This might seem like an odd question, and I am certainly not asking for details of anyone's sessions.

My situation is this - My therapist and I did 2 sessions of EMDR, a few weeks back. I had a very strong reaction to the first session - experienced a pretty severe dissociative episode upon leaving the session, then became very depressed for several days. The second EMDR session seemed to cause very little emotional upset. In fact, I returned to a very familiar state of numbness and have felt like the therapy part of my brain has sort of "shut down" or something. So my therapist thinks this is a sign that we should back off a little, maybe take a more gentle, or subtle, approach. She doesn't want to push too hard.

But I'm finding myself feeling sorry of stuck, in regards to therapy and healing, or changing/improving. We've been talking about more recent and day to day things for the past few weeks, along with a little about recognizing the ways in which I react or respond to different people and situations. Things that seem sort of "mundane," to me.

I mean, if we're not talking about and working on my trauma issues, then what the heck are we supposed to be talking about? I kinda feel like, if we're not working on and talking about core issues, then what's the point and what am I doing wasting my time (and money) in therapy?

I tried telling her - shortly after our second EMDR session - that I was considering quitting therapy. She said she really didn't think I should do that and I decided she was probably right. But I guess my question is, should I be more insistent on continuing with the EMDR, or just plod along talking about the more "mundane" things a bit longer and see how she tells me things should progress?

Sorry this got a bit long, and I hope it made sense! I welcome any and all replies! :unsure:

 

[FindingMyself88]

I think you should talk to her about your feelings on this. However, I think that sometimes just talking about the mundane helps. I am in a transition from old to new T (from regular T to trauma T). My old T a while back had to back off talking about big stuff because I was beginning to dissociate and became suicidal. So really even up until now working into the transition, we have been doing mostly week to week "supportive" therapy.

I at first had your same response, but now I am beginning to see the benefits. Sometimes our week to week have touches of our past and trauma in them with anxiety and such. Like today, I went into the session INCREDIBLY anxious and had no idea why. As we talked, things began unfolding as to what triggered my anxiety. More importantly though, is we quit forcing the trauma to come and so it gave me time to cope and deal. Now in the past 2 weeks some more memories of traumas have started coming out on there own. The supportive therapy helped give my body rest and now things are naturally coming back up, just in time for me to start working with trauma therapist. Even with her we are taking it slow, but starting to talk about things I haven't talked about in two years.

Hope this helps you, but I would definitely let your T know how you are feeling, maybe she can share with you why she is doing this and what she hopes to accomplish!

 

[TimeToHeal]

Thank you, @FindingMyself88, that does help. I guess I'm just inpatient. I'm like, "Ok, I'm finally realizing how much of my life had been traumatic, I've found a great trauma therapist, so let's do this!" Although I "know" it's a slow process, I guess I don't feel like we're really "doing" anything.

Perhaps I will email her with the things I've been thinking before our next session. I tend to chicken out sometimes in telling her these things face to face. :banghead:

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Do you talk about trauma in the first person while doing EMDR? I'm just trying to understand the process.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I talk about the things that are bothering me now. I talk about my levels of anxiety and how the medication is helping to stabilize me. I must be doing better than I thought because my next appointment is in six months.

I focus on things that will help me to better cope in the real world. I need practical suggestions that will really help to resolve my troubles in life now. Hope this helps. I wish you the best.

 

[FindingMyself88]

@TimeToHeal I totally get that, I promise you! It really has only been the last 2 weeks that I have understood how helpful it has been to take a step back. Your counselor is just listening to your body's cues and reactions and allowing it to pick the pace! You ARE still making strides. Each week you go, you are building trust in your T. Also, I don't know about you, but by working on the week to week stuff, I am also learning how my trauma has affected my daily life.

Keep up the good work, emailing her sounds like a good idea :).

 

[TimeToHeal]

@FindingMyself88 and @gizmo - Thank you so much for your replies, they really are helpful!
And @gizmo, congrats on improving enough to go 6 months between sessions! :tup:

I guess I'll have to resign myself to allowing the process and changes to unfold gradually. As tough as that is for me! :eek:

 

[TimeToHeal]

And @Solara, I did/do speak in the first person during my EMDR sessions. The memories, or "images" that come up however, I see some of them in first person - from the viewpoint I would have had when they actually happened, and others I see from a third party perspective, seeing everything, including myself, as though I was watching it happen.

Hope this answers your question! :)

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Oh ok thanks. My processing was completely in the third person to prevent the re-living aspect. I was just wondering if other types of processing use the third person exclusively as well.

 

[TimeToHeal]

@Solara, what type of processing did you do? (I hope that's ok to ask. If you'd prefer not to answer, that's ok too).

PS - I don't think there is an "exclusive" way to talk about traumas in EMDR. I think however the person feels comfortable in talking about it, is fine. I could be wrong about that, but my therapist never specified or advised me a particular way to speak of things.

Although, thank you for bringing the idea to my attention. Perhaps I would have an easier time discussing events in the third person.

 

[Seasounds]

I think that some therapists are trained to follow the topics of discussion that their clients bring up, and to follow the depth of feelings that their clients open unto. In other words, they let you lead.

I agree with the above posts; talk about the thoughts and feelings that you have, regarding your current life. It can become an intersting exploration and expression of yourself. Inevitably, it will reflect some patterns of your past traumas, that show up in your current life.

Then, with new self awareness, you can make new choices, that support responding to your life's circumstances, in new ways. Old patterns/old traumas get transformed.

 

[It's all my fault]

I can relate to dissociation and EMDR. My therapist tells me my body dictates the pace. If you try to work on the trauma while you are dissociating the effort is futile. When I have forced the issue and wanted to speed up or not tell her when I am overloaded (she usually can tell) , I end up doing more damage and am more suicidal. Listen to your body. Good luck!