What Helps You Ground Yourself?

[Digz]

I'm not great at it also but I'm slowly learning. It's been suggested to me to try using as many senses as possible. Touch, I find a pretty good one - when I touch something I try to look for something with a different texture, and preferably something that doesn't link to my childhood/flashbacks. Smell is also a good one, particularly if there is a place where you know you are prone to flashbacks/triggers. One of my places is the toilet, so having a scented candle in there to sniff when needing grounding can help. You can also use lavender or other things, but that one links to childhood for me so I avoid it. You can use some kind of music/audio as well. Setting up little rituals for grounding like this and things to help you before it happens is a good idea, because thinking about some of these things in the moment is difficult.
And as I write this I think, I still haven't set up a couple of these ideas, and I should really listen to my advice!!!

 

[Pilgrim]

I think I am AFRAID to ground myself, like I think if I turn my back on or move away from the flashback, it's going to be able to 'get' me, or something. I find I tend to actively resist grounding, almost with a vengeance. That seems really strange, though, when I say it 'out loud'. I like the hand over your heart and breathe into your hand, idea. I want to borrow that one. Also I suppose being snuggled up under my big heavy comforter in bed helps, as it feels like being wrapped in a big snuggly warm hug.. but without the complication of having to feel terrified of a person who's trying to hug me..

I've also found myseld absent mindedly rubbing my fingers over the tassels on a rug or blanket has helped in the past. I did that for a long while before I even realized I WAS doing it. I like your name, @deer_in_headlights bc that is exactly how I feel at those times! Most of the time, actually..

 

[Pilgrim]

Also I guess that trying to trace bavk where I lost myself, helps. It's painful, but sometimes it's the only thing that helps me un-dissociate, and be back with the world, again. Did somebody say something or did I have a thought that distressed me, right before I disappeared..

 

[Tinyflame]

Wow @Pilgrim, your post above is Hugely important. :wideyed: I've never thought of that, wow. :wideeyed: Right. Should tattoo that one on my wrist! Thank you.

 

[The Albatross]

CJ... I do things that appeal to or stimulate all basic senses. If cerebral ones won't work sense based ones... at least one of them will.

Bare feet in the sand, grass, or dirt.
Tactile things... like fur or feathers... I collect feathers and have 6 cats if that tells you anything.
Auditory-wise... music and purring of felines.
Aromatherapy but mimosa and frankincense are way expensive. I use a lot of eucalyptus and almond.... sometimes citrus or mint.
Hot or cold immersion... hot wax, hands and feet or an hot as I can bear bath... cold... I dump Ice into a bath (being in Florida) after a cleanse, regular bath or shower with or without visualization... and do a minimum of 5 minutes.
Taste wise... I use a ton of spices and tabasco, cayenne
At times when I have missing body sensations I do mindful body scans... hard clenching as long as I can and the "feel" the rush of the relaxation... each muscle group and body part til I can feel all from the back of my head to my fingers, the spine, the hips / legs/ feet.
Visually I do color therapy... I prefer rainbows or prisms. Sometimes I do a lighted candle.

 

[The Albatross]

I think I am AFRAID to ground myself, like I think if I turn my back on or move away from the flashback,...

It is difficult but necessary to be/stay in your body. I was a mind... disassociated for quite a long time... dragging my body around. That was a dishonor to the vehicle/body that serves me, mind/spirit/intellect/emotion.

 

[Pilgrim]

@Junebug you're welcome. Glad it was helpful. It helped me to think through how I handle it, too. This is a good conversation, lots of good ideas. :)

 

[Tinyflame]

Thank you @Pilgrim for the reminder. I could use it now, too many disjointed thoughts & lots of shame, remorse & regret (that I rightfully deserve).

:hug:

 

[Pilgrim]

I'm finding shame isn't helpful @Junebug it just makes us feel bad about ourselves, and blocks us from seeing solutions. You are not bad. If mistakes are made, they can be learned from. Sometimes that's hard to see, and shame can be hard to let go of. At least, it is at times for me. But I don't think its necessary to beat ourselves up. We're only human.

 

[Tinyflame]

Thank you dear @Pilgrim. Yes you're right no one can ever go back in time only forward. At least now more of my behaviours reflect my heart, tho I could stand a lot of improvement. :(

I should keep a copy of that post of yours too. :hug: No matter how much grief I've caused others or disappointment it's less than the grief & disappointment I've felt in myself for doing it. No one could hate me more for it than I hate myself.

 

[Pilgrim]

That sounds so painful @Junebug It brings tears to my eyes, for you. Self-hatred is a vicious thing. I struggle with it myself. I think I'm getting better about it, with a lot of reassurance from my friends. It seems that when I am able to admit my mistakes to safe people in my life, their reactions to me are tending to be more like proud of me for my courage and willingness to own up to stuff. That surprised me, a lot. But they have to be safe people. Vulnerability with unsafe peoplejust dumps more pain and criticism and shame. Not worth it, then. I hope you feel better and calmer and more peaceful, soon. People care, and you're going to make it. It'll be ok. Hang in there. :hug:

 

[Tinyflame]

You're very very kind & wise @Pilgrim. Thank you for that. Another to copy-&-paste. :notworthy: :hug: Xox.