What If?

[Jester]

Have you ever wondered if you really have PTSD? There are times when people talk about "blanking out" (dissociating), and I don't know if I've ever done that. There are times when I can't relate to a lot of what other people with PTSD are saying. I know everyone is different, but it's very confusing when I feel like a stranger. There are times I wonder if I'm just imagining all of it. What if it really is just an attitude problem? What if I'm stuck in a dream or a hallucination or a coma, and I can't get out of it? How do I know if anything's real?

 

[Deleted member 28403]

People not accepting thwy hve PTSD or doubting it and feeling like they are just acting out and similar happens and it just puts more worries on the persons mind.

Now on the other thing you said, well, ever heard of Matrix theories. It goes about questioning if world is really real, also the matrix movies explain some of why organizer criminal is allowed to exist. I suggest reading the hidden wiki post about it. Google it. It will also give you some new views on ways of thinking.

Also, if you get to thought of this not being real, being just a hallucination, try lucid dreaming.

There is a lot to be read on themes of doubting reality of world. But philosophysts have been talking on that for centuries. But it's been really fought over, so I suggest googling.

 

[Deleted member 27340]

Yeah, I've been thinking like that a lot. I dissociate, but I don't have the same kind of flashback as I see people talking about here, I only have intrusive thoughts in the shape of images and people and thinking obsessively about an event. I do have some flashbacks, but they're small and short and I'm so used to them I don't even think about it.

About the existential philosophy I think I can relate. Reading about psychology and science has made my mind come up with lots of reasons I might not be real at all, before later on jumping to the conclusion that my body is probably real (or it's just my mind making up the illusion that it's real). Then I start thinking of how tiny and insignificant I am, and how there might be more than one UNIVERSE, and I'm this little dot of dust... before I again start to wonder if it's all an illusion

 

[Deleted member 28403]

@Trauma And then you will eventually get to quantum physics and the thoughts that naturally come once you are really avare that everything is 99.9% empty space, aka not here.

And yea, I also don't have much of serious flashbacks, my sense of touch doesn't get overtaken, so they are mostly audio-visual when they happend, though I'm often completely numb to pain, so some techniques that involve feeling your own body don't work well yet, but I noticed that they are calming under normal circumstances. Must thank Laurie for some :)

 

[Deleted member 27340]

And then you will eventually get to quantum physics and the thoughts that naturally come once you are really avare that everything is 99.9% empty space, aka not here

Yeah, that's even more fun! Especially when combined with how big some of the objects in our universe are compared to our tiny earth, moon and sun. So it's huge, 99.99% not here and constantly moving at insane speeds. Also, the light in the universe is bending, which mean there has to be something bending it. Such as an end. Then what's outside the end? We might be living in a bubble, making the metaphor used about people's realities even more fun. What's outside the universe bubble? Other bubbles? Then what's in between the bubbles? Maybe the entire world is like the foam in your bathtub, each bubble being one universe. Still, even how big that would be, there's only 1,11% of material, the rest doesn't exist.

 

[Deleted member 28403]

@Trauma Well, matter is just a bending in space-time, compressed energy, and space-time is quite bendable, explaining the different time pass in high gravity and magnetic fields. There is quite a lot of interesting stuff there, being ine if small boosts towards me studying physics. Anyway, check out Scott Manley if you want, he is nice to watch, and he had some astorophysics videos, though I like giving it more variables normally... Anyway, a nice thing I got to say is that I'm almost done with high school physics! :D brain stormy!

 

[Underdog]

There are a set of criteria listed for people to be diagnosed with PTSD. Not everything listed in different categories must be experienced to be diagnosed with it. I'm not sure if disassociation is one of those criteria where there are other symptoms listed and you must experience at least one of them but not all though. Perhaps someone with more knowledge of the criteria can assist here, but I would suggest googling the criteria and reading over it. Also know that there are different types, levels and extremes of PTSD. Not all sufferers will share all the same symptoms or be on the same levels as others, so we are all a bit different despite having PTSD.

 

[Underdog]

As I suspected, disassociation is only one of about 5 criteria in section B, so you don't need to experience it to still have PTSD.
check this link out.

http://www.ptsd.va.gov/professional/PTSD-overview/dsm5_criteria_ptsd.asp

 

[The Albatross]

Personally I have enough evidence that it is PTSD... even though I am able to have some pretty good stretches without a trigger or disassociative type episode. I have to apply measures, though pretty much every day or my symptoms increase. Sort of like sink or swim. During longer times between cycles or free from triggering smells, sights, situations or people... it is, I think pretty natural either to think "maybe I don't have PTSD" or "maybe I've recovered from PTSD" even. But only you can work it through Jester for yourself.

If you have questions about your diagnosis, take it up with your Therapist or get a second opinion. Underdog's post is right in that we all do not necessarily have the same symptoms that are listed. I don't have flashbacks unless I am in some very specific situations for example, but I do have disassociative type episodes.

So far as the pondering if it's really an "attitude problem" ... I had to work it through with my shrink because I had been told all my life by parents and both my ex and present spouse it WAS an attitude problem. On self examination it was easy to see that there are times where my reaction to a trigger, pain, person or situation sparks and/or reacts before I have a chance to think or my brain kicks in. I had enough fight/flight/freeze/faint situations even in my fairly recent history that supported the diagnosis even though I damn sure wasn't happy about it.

So far as "What if I'm stuck in a dream or a hallucination or a coma, and I can't get out of it? How do I know if anything's real?" I think we can safely say that you aren't in a "coma". "What if" thinking is useful to problem solve but not particularly beneficial for me personally... again I tend to be an evidence based person and would do some self examination on "What supports the thoughts (or compulsive/reoccurring thought or feeling) that I'm stuck in a dream or a hallucination?" and also "What evidence/facts support that I am not?"

Proffering a question without doing the work is just contemplating your navel... but on the other hand, perhaps your life may be stable and difficulty free enough that a bit of questioning is worthwhile... OR you may be one of the fortunate few I hear/read about who can say they have recovered. It can and does happen for some I think, however referring to "stuck" daydream or hallucinations... well, perhaps you would care to share more about that.

(best I can do today, not really able to write what I wanted to say but that happens sometimes)

 

[Deleted member 28403]

@The Albatross

I have a lot of similarity with that.

There were times when I would be happy, and though that I recovered or was just imagining or dreaming it all, but often I would just be punched right in the face with symptoms later, like, today, or maybe yesterday or something, memory musyh beyond now when going backwards... I had a dream of some kind, and when I woke up I didn't have a panic attack but had a serious confusion about where I was and what was real, as in, I was unsure whether I fell asleep in real world of the dream, and am dreaming this or opposite... Was a wierd feeling and got me really confused with what's happening.

Now onto the attitude stuff, yep, people seem to really believe that anything is 'just a state of mind' and they think that just changing my attitude would make me suddenly happy :( especially those who see me just as a tired and depressive person...

Fortunate few who recovered? That seems really nice, too good to be true... It could really just be finding a place of true peace and staying there, and such perfect situation is near impossible. Even having a job would put on some stress onto a person, and I can't really imagine people like that. Ok. I can. "Smoke weed every day" poster seen a minute ago. Hehe

I sometimes have a day when really nothing can seriously upset me, and it's one of those times when seems like it was all just imagination, but it's rare...

 

[The Albatross]

Otakujome... imagining people who deal with work stress by smoking weed every day... is imagining "coping" by graduating to the not-so-wonderful world of co-occurring behaviors, SUDS (Substance Use/Abuse Disorder Syndrome) and PTSD. The lowest prognosis for recovery (of which I am sadly a member for life). Why imagine to willingly put your other foot "in the hole" if the statistical result is the lowest prognosis group? Sorry... to be more serious perhaps than you intend. But it is serious to me.

It is life, death, or wet brain (if I go full blown into my behaviors - alcohol).

Off topic Jester... sorry. But this thread went off topic pretty darned quick I think.

(not stellar as the past few day's I've had multiple edits.... sorry but I'm trying)

 

[Deleted member 28403]

@The Albatross

No, seriousness is okay.

Anyway, I know that behaviour is not healthy and makes recovery much harsher (though weed doesn't cause physical need, it causes psychical want for that free state). I notice that this thing gets you up on seriousness like many things get me. I'm sorry for alerting you.

I was just reading a book and found a story, and interesting one. Will post it in a thread, because of how meaningful it is (as soon as I translate it).