What Is Fawn?

Those are things that can be either? Which, to my way of thinking, is a good thing… because the running joke in a lot of my relationships is “Some people call it codependent, but we call it TEAMWORK.”

Most basically? Codependency = not teamwork.

Teamwork, in psychobabble, is “interdependent”.

The article below has a fairly decent description.

Maybe idk its hard to say. Whats me and whats CPTSD.
 
1. a deep-seated need for approval from others

I generally dont care about what anyone thinks except for the people that i do care about what they think. But i try very hard to be a good person. Helping children with christmas presents and whatnot. Getting them bicycles. When i shut down i dont care what anyone thinks i just want left alone.
 
Its hard to say because there is me when im good and functioning and then there is me when im not so good and dysfunctional and withdrawn.
 
i have a fawn response with abusers that is a lot like what Sideways describes. in sexually abusive situations in particular i will be very subservient and almost childlike and attempt to please them. in abusive situations i try to take care of their needs before my own and at the expense of my own.

fawn is also a people pleasing response generally. i do it in public, or with certain colleagues, when i know someone is a bit of a bully.

i am almost always a freeze response unless i am in a longer-term abusive situation.

hth.
 
I was stuck in fawning at one point. I was trying to keep my abuser from becoming angry as anything might upset him, so I was always trying to think ahead and make sure that everything was perfect for him. Our kids never made a sound cause I knew that this would make him angry. I was always on top of keeping them quiet. And of course whenever he did get angry it was always my fault and I would apologize if I wasn't able to foresee and stop whatever it was he would explode over. Of course when he did explode that added to my list of things to make sure to not let happen. At the time I accepted this as normal and caring on my part rather then straight out of fear at what he would do. Only after I was able to safely leave him with my children, did I even recognize my own behavior.
 
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