What Is Processing The Trauma?

[Deleted member 19035]

This site may not want that posted in public anyway.

Hi Raven123, welcome. If you want to, you can start a trauma diary. This is a place where you are free to write down everything that happened to you. I think you also get a private diary too that only you and Anthony see. Writing has helped my Princess (charmedone) so much. She has a diary here. She suffered all kinds of abuse from birth to 14 years old.

I hope you find some comfort, strength and support here online but also in person. I think processing it, means to understand it, accept it and learn to move on. It is easier said than done. It is such a painful process to go through but necessary in order to have a happy future. Good luck, Take care.

 

[raven123]

Fuzzy,

Thank you. I have a diary, not online, and it really hasn't done a whole lot for me. What is it supposed to do? I really don't want to be reminded of my entire childhood filled with abuse, be it rape, emotional, physical and spiritual abuse, to be honest. I'm sick of hearing about it. I lived it. I don't mean to vent, but what does reliving it really do for someone? I ain't writing any more about that shit.

 

[Deleted member 19035]

I have a diary, not online, and it really hasn't done a whole lot for me.

I am sorry your diary has not done much for you. I think having a diary about every day and on here where others can read and be supportive helps. Sometimes writing about the crap swirling around her head has helped my Princess. Then feedback, love and support received by friends here has helped her through difficult times. She has suffered similar trauma to you I think from what you have said.

For me writing what is going on is a way of getting rid of my negative emotions. For my princess it is a way for her to have her feelings validated and to feel less alone.

I hope you find strength and healing soon. Take care.

 

[raven123]

FuzzyBear,

I intellectualize everything and have been doing it since I was raped over 40 years ago. I've never felt through anything so no wonder the journal doesn't do a thing. All I've ever known is that and negative stuff happening to me so naturally I feel worthless, wish I was dead because I think my loneliness is a life curse because I have no way to know how to relate to others. Joy and happiness are foreign concepts. So, since I've never felt through anything, how do you do it?

FuzzyBear said, "Then feedback, love and support received by friends here has helped her through difficult times." In my existence not life cause I've never had one, my only feedback has been negative, there was no love or support for me growing up. Nothing I ever did was good enough for my sperm donor. I really don't hate anyone either. Only time I felt at all was fear, which was constant and has been a constant most of my life, because my sperm donor ruled with fear and hate.

Am I lonely or just empty because I never feel a thing?

 

[Rumors]

Raven,
Fuzzy has been permanently banned from the site. Anthony posted a thread explaining why. Sorry he won't be able to answer you. Hang in there.

 

[raven123]

Rumors,

Oh, gee, thanks.

 

[Donna-1]

I have had to learn that most people don't want to know anything about me.

I have always had difficulty making friends. For me, it goes along with difficulty establishing boundaries. It just feels natural to me to tell people some of the tough things I have been through. And I know I do it too early in the relationship. I am impulsive in this way, and I hate it, but there it is. For me, it is like, "This is part of me and if you can't or don't want to hear about ALL of me that's okay, but at least now you know." I leave it up to them to take it or leave it. I really do try to only mention generalities, though, not specifics. Part of the reason is that it's a way of explaining my emotional flatness and is a self-protective measure: like, "Don't get too close to me!"

 

[raven123]

Sorry, Donna. What's funny is people want to talk my ear off, especially women, then not want to listen to my sh*t at all. So, I quit listening to their sh*t offline. Hate to say it, but Southerners seem to be that way 99 times out of 100.

 

[Abstract]

Hi Raven. Haven't had a chance to read yet but here is another thread about this just in case it adds to the discussion. [DLMURL]https://www.ptsdforum.org/c/threads/what-does-processing-trauma-really-mean.27858/[/DLMURL]

 

[Abstract]

Oops. Anthony posted it already.