What Kind Of Therapist Should I Go To? Are Their Different Types?

[Ldm0899]

I had an appt set up and then a close friend strongly suggested I do not go to him. So a summary of what I've got going on. I was told this week by my sister that my father molested me. Without every detail he did it to her and she remembers all of it. So yes I believe her, but I don't remember anything. And have very few memories of my life (I'm talking like 20) till I was 12 then they increase then at 14 it's way better, but still spotty. Just to put this out there I'm not trying to automatically dig out my regressed memories but get to them very slowly. I've never been to a therapist and have no clue where to start?!? Any opinions are welcome. Even alternative therapies.
Thank you.

 

[WillyKat]

My personal opinion, worth both pennies, is to set up appointments with two or more psychologists that specialize in treating victims of trauma. I don't advise people to start with psychiatrists because they often don't have the training to really talk to you, and think drugs first. Psychologists can't prescribe meds and get trained at talking therapy. You can always get a referral to someone that can prescribe meds at a later time.

So pick two or more, meet them, and if there's one you feel more comfortable with, start the work.

The reason people can't remember is because the brain parts that record memories are dialed down to 1 or 0 during trauma. Whatever memories may exist, are fragmentary, lack context, and there are gaps. Traumatic memories are often state-based, meaning you may not remember them until you are back in the same state in which they occurred. And nobody wants that. My former psychologist once told me that memories return when you are strong enough to handle them. My advice, again worth exactly 2 cents, is to not try hard. Every time I have tried to recover more, they get farther away. It's like trying to catch a hologram of a greased pig. So don't sweat the recovery of memories, at least not without working with a good therapist.

Welcome to the forum! Keep posting and let us know what's going on.

 

[Ldm0899]

Wow, thank you so much. I don't really want to force the memories, I more or less just wanna talk about it to a person who has the right questions if that makes sense. Again thank you

 

[WillyKat]

Yeah, talking about them in a safe, trusting environment may bring them out.

In my case, I know only a handful of fragments, in between which I've inserted some logical deductions. There's more there, or at least that is what I've always felt. I've never recovered any memories by trying to recover them. Sometimes they come at completely random times and seemingly for no reason.

In therapy sometimes, I suddenly get a different perspective on the memories, usually a migration from fact to feeling, if that makes any sense.

 

[Crow]

Two decades of trying different approaches and the one modality that has worked consistently for me is Somatic Experiencing therapy. This is intensive trauma training for the therapist. Well worth the effort to find a therapist trained in SE. EMDR, brainspotting, and DBT have been helpful too.

 

[Eagle3]

In my case, EMDR, bodywork (hypnosis, energy healing, accupressure, etc), biofeedback, and verbal processing have been extremely helpful. But most important is to find the RIGHT therapist for you! Find someone with EXTENSIVE training and experience working with trauma and PTSD, and who balances well with your personality and specific issues. The therapeutic relationship is the only way to make the modalities work, in my opinion.

 

[Hope1969]

If you suspect sexual abuse maybe try to find a T that specialize in SA. But more important than that is the person itself. If a T is warm and compationet that can do the work even if they don't have special training in this trauma.

About the memories ... They will come when you feel strong and safe.