What Makes You Angry Today?

[JarHed]

Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery
None but ourselves can free our minds

Love that quote and Bob Marley too.

Problem is though, it's not an easy task to accomplish. It takes real work, and ya'll know what I mean. It's why I think that those of us that have chosen this path have a steeper hill and bigger rock to push up it. The payoff may eventually be greater but it only comes in at a trickle.

I was at my PTSD group yesterday, I've graduated to that arena. It was the toughest group session I've ever been to. I was up all last night, couldn't sleep. Keep thinking; why the f**k am I doing this? So I guess what I'm saying is there's always going to be 'those' kind of days. Sometimes I wish there was a pill I could take and I'd be all better. Don't we all.

Jar

 

[Jimmy1]

What tick's me off today.

When at 5 am, someone's dog has escaped and roams the street and sets my dogs off. I know my dogs are only being protective, but f*ck me, waking me up with barking.

 

[JarHed]

When at 5 am, someone's dog has escaped and roams the street and sets my dogs off. I know my dogs are only being protective, but f*ck me, waking me up with barking.

Sounds like we've got the same douche bag neighbor.

Or they're going out to get smokes at 6:00 am. on saturday morning and have to slam every door they have, house and car. I have a clear shot from my bedroom window. :rolleyes:

I always had this sort of credo; if you wake me up when I don't have to get up somebody better be dead, or else somebody will be shortly.

And ya know if I 'asked' them to hold it down the 'f' you's would start and that would be the end of it. And me as well. Ah life is so unfair.

Jar

 

[Jimmy1]

My mother new an old couple who lived smack bang in the middle of nowhere. One morning the wife said to the hubby, 'I can hear a car', to which he replied, 'That's it, we are moving'.

When the kids have gone and we move to our retirement home, we want to be far enough away that the only reason the dogs do back will be to let us know someone is coming.

And ya know if I 'asked' them to hold it down the 'f' you's would start and that would be the end of it. And me as well.
Jar

I suppose that is one thing we have to work on, the 'OFF' button.

 

[Sarg]

Damn, this thread isn't a thread, it's a goddamn epiphany! Jar! You been hitting those smart pills again? Excellent point about anger just damaging our own selves. I think you would probably agree that our anger aged us beyond our years?

And that very thing is what makes it so very hard to get past those years. I've tried to get guys to agree to therapy and they just keep putting it off, probably from the stigma that exist of those that seek treatment are weak, when just the opposite is true! Talked to a guy at the MVD earlier this week, right back from the sand, made him promise me that he's check in with the Vet Center. And I know he probably won't.

The anger will kill you! If not from violence, then from eating you from the inside out. The sooner you address it, the sooner you're on the road to recovery.

Utterances from a very old, very tired man.

Sarg

 

[JarHed]

Damn, this thread isn't a thread, it's a goddamn epiphany! Jar! You been hitting those smart pills again?

It must be the vit e, :rolleyes: only kiddin'

Yeah, Sarg the anger will have your liver with onions. And that's not a pleasant thing. Been workin' on it a long time myself. Some days are better than others. And yeah, never been at a loss for words. The anger thing is something I think we all share in common. It's tough to deal with without becoming a door mat either. Guess it's a thin line we all walk from time to time.

Jar

 

[tho9900]

I was at my PTSD group yesterday, I've graduated to that arena. It was the toughest group session I've ever been to. I was up all last night, couldn't sleep. Keep thinking; why the f**k am I doing this? So I guess what I'm saying is there's always going to be 'those' kind of days. Sometimes I wish there was a pill I could take and I'd be all better. Don't we all.

Jar

Last night kinda did me in too.... got a glimpse of things through the other sides eyes... I think the thing that got me spiraling is realizing I felt the same way.. as in the death dealers side, versus the death cheaters side I worked on..

 

[tho9900]

oh and I am very nervous have an intake assesment at the Traumatic something or other.. TRP it is called... maybe TPR... its a PTSD intensive program...

ok... honest? and ok this may be hijacking this thread and I am sorry... I have this poor resident wrapped around my finger... I tell her what meds I want and convince her to prescribe them (speaking of rationalization I posted on in another thread... I can always justify the med cuz I know them.. she trusts me because as a medic/respiratory therapist I can talk the talk) ... I keep myself off her radar... talk just enough to keep her happy etc... I feel bad now because she really is an awesome person and rly cares about me... I see her on the 14th and I think I am rly gonna admit this to her and apologize.. especially in her shoes as a resident she needs to know so the next fool doesn't come along and do it and not get what he or she needs...

I am scared because the PTSD Mental Health group are the Seal Team 6 of psych.. they don't screw around... scared of lifting the lid off this pot and getting burnt..

And angry I have to go to see them to start with.. there went back to topic... would rather it was being seen for a cold or flu vs this..

 

[Bill Simmons]

Me too...about 30 years ago.

 

[JarHed]

Hey Tho

It's a scary thing to get involved in PTSD therapy. You do have to open the lid to a lot of things you've boxed away and been avoiding. Believe me when I say that all this isn't what I thought I'd be doing at this point in my life. Like most I had a naieve and unrealistic view of what would be.

I think ultimately it's for the best. The fact that you can get a handle on some of the things that PTSD brings. But there are times that I wish I was just a name on a wall and it was done. I feel like a boxer that's been through a really tough fight and you just want a couple more seconds to rest; and the bell sound for the next round. There always seems to be a 'next' round.

I'm a bit off today and don't have my usual kind of upbeat sayings to give you some real encouragement. The hope is that maybe there will be a time when it's been so long that I haven't felt bad that I can't remember when it was. As I was once told, just be honest about your situation with the people you have to deal with, it just makes it easier for you in the long run. My best hopes are with you Bro.

Jar

P.S. - wish we had spell check here. I'm not sure this forum software can even support it. Perhaps an add on. :rolleyes:

 

[tho9900]

hey Jar you need someone to talk to PM me or hop on one of the convos I started... It's all good.... I owe you a lot even tho you prolly don't know I do... Thanks for the words.. Imma keep this short but again wanted to say thanks to you.. I am the same way... good days and bad... just seems like there's been a few more good days the last 6 months or so.. not a lot... but it's nice to take a break now and then... and don't worry abt spell check, I will point out all your mistakes! ;) and hell no... I am fluent in typo no worries... just look at my posts and you will see

Semper Fi bro

 

[JarHed]

Hey Tho

Thanks, yeah I have my share of good and bad days as well. I appreciate your concern as well. Not a major problem, just a bump in the road. Love your new avatar.

I actually do have a 'dictionary' close to my pc for when I can't remember or don't know how to spell a word. I still think it's funny how you don't know how to spell a word but you'll 'look it up in the dictionary'? It makes sense but yet it doesn't. Maybe I need to take another pill. :ROFLMAO:

Jar