What To Do...

[BlueOrange]

As an alternative to creating a crisis, you can try to slow things down & to focus on building up your coping resources and safety nets. Talk to your therapist about the extra difficulty that the therapy is causing you, and stop trying to deal with the trauma for now. Focus on the things that you can do so that next time when the nightmares hit, you're able to withstand them (that kind of thing).

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

Welcome, Rey, to a VERY SPECIAL Forum, and community! Everyone is kind, compassionate, empathetic, and supportive, and there is NO judgement.

We all have suffered trauma, and SOOOO many of us have trauma that began in childhood.

How does one have the "tools" to navigate adult life, if our childhoods we're screwed up??? I have been "finding tools" for most of my life. It's a LONG process, which it sounds like you know far too well!

I am glad you have "found" us, but also sad that you have to find help. Definitely a "bittersweet" welcome!

If you'll accept, here's a ((:)hug: ))) hug.:)
Blessings to you!
AKJ

 

[Swemoor]

Update:
My therapist says that no problem is small if it is causing you pain, being mentally ill from depression to schizophrenia is a nightmare, a complex trauma that is affecting your life is very important.

I just asked a friend that studies psychology about what kind of treatment you should follow...

And about what I told you before, I'll search if ther service is available for other countries... but I really recomend you searching something like that :)

I'll update latter with the answer my friend gives me

 

[Rey324]

From the two places I called I didn't meet criteria. I really wish my therapist would make a referral somewhere bc like I said I am struggling badly each and everyday. I don't know either if she is trained specially for the trauma. We did something called chair work - where I could be my little me talking to grown me. It was weird. don't you need to be stable and know some kind of coping skills to even start this kind of work? I read C-ptsd by Pete Walker and boy that book nailed alot of how I felt for so long. The 2nd book I am reading is The Body Keeps Score another great book and very insightful as well.

 

[Suzetig]

It's a hard thing to know that a lot of people with PTSD do struggle, a lot, every day. I'm not saying that to minimise what you're feeling at all - I know it can be hellish but if you're seeing an intensive programme, that you can't access, as your only chance of treatment you're going to become steadily worse.

There are loads of resources out there that can help you understand your condition better *and* help you heal. I highlight that because it's too easy to read, recognise yourself in the pages and get very despondent and a "my life is awful, it's says so right here, no one will help me - I'll never get better" way. The books you're reading are a good start.

As you're reading look for things that you can do that will relieve things even just a little bit - lots of little bits of grounding, mindfulness, self care etc can start to make a real difference day by day in terms of you functioning better and increasing your tolerance to therapeutic work. Talk to your therapist about your lack of social support resources and see if she has any ideas about what might help - and try not to dismiss her suggestions as too hard because of X.

You've came here which is a great start to building supports - really have a look around and learn as much as you can, there's a fantastic thread on top ten cognitive distortions that's a great starting place. Also read @anthony's article explaining that reading and posting may increase your symptoms.

I'm not saying you don't need therapy or treatment but it might help to think about it like going out for dinner. Sometimes we get a beautiful meal served to us on white linen cloths, at others we get a very nice buffet that we help ourself to but is all provided in one place, at others we'll cobble together something from a food hall. We'd all love (and some may really need) the white linen experience but food hall food is still food.

Recovery is hard work, even with the best therapy in the world it places a lot of demands on people and sometimes it feels worse before it gets better. But it's possible and worth it.

 

[Rey324]

6 years of isolation is a long time. Each and everyday its empty and there is no meaning. It feels like I am dying everyday a little more inside. I lack purpose and meaning. Like I said the nature of my trauma and the isolation is triggering as hell. I spent many years locked away from the world with my abuser. Would think it would be different today I am away from my abuse but i feel the same as I did as a child. I brought this up to the therapist lack of social support and best they can come up with is attend AA groups. I am not an alcoholic and the biggest thing is I cant be around people with the profound social anxiety I have developed from the trauma. I think to someone who is struggling as bad as me a program would be a great opportunity to start addressing this. Least I would be in a safe enivorment and learn better coping skills and be with people who I feel I could relate to. It's like say there is a bipolar support group here where I live I can not relate to what they are living through or vise versa.

 

[Swemoor]

I came with my friend's answer... which is not really revealing or something.

What she told me is you should follow cognitive behavioral therapy, I know it doesn't help much, but you could start asking your therapist(s) what kind of therapy they will apply with you, maybe you already know it, tho.

I wish I could help you more, good luck :)