What To Never Say To A Ptsd Sufferer

[Hashi]

Don't let them win.

Er, hello?

In a literal sense I think they've already won quite conclusively. That's kind of the point.

In a figurative sense, it's not about making them the losers instead of me. It's about healing.

 

[Hashi]

The one I've been getting a lot lately is 'let it go'.

Yes, this really amazes me. As if we could do that but prefer to suffer. And as if it's something as inconsequential as someone forgetting to send you a birthday card.

 

[p-no]

'But you have been fine for so long, why re-visit all this now?' - How about you just don't visit me for a while?

I haven't said these replies, but in my more irritated moments, I have really wanted to!

I just laughed out loud; I'd really like to be this fast in my responses some days...

 

[p-no]

I feel as if I were treading a bit dangerously here (don't want to hurt anyone), but some of what's in this long thread has actually helped me. Some of that, again, had caused me to blow up in the early years of healing but have helped only later-on. Some hasn't and probably never will. Hope you don't mind that input. Just saying.

 

[Deleted member 14359]

My husband...yes, my husband said this series of questions last night: 'GET OVER IT', 'WHY CAN'T YOU STOP WHAT YOU SEE?, 'WHY CAN'T YOU SLEEP' and 'WHY DO YOU GO OUT WHEN IT SCARES YOU?' Ignorant b*astard!!! I will leave you to imagine my response - there was lots of naughty and blunt words in it!!! He won't be saying them again and he understands why he shouldn't!!

But you have been fine for so long, why re-visit all this now?' - How about you just don't visit me for a while?

I haven't said these replies, but in my more irritated moments, I have really wanted to!

I just laughed out loud too and got an eye brow moment from my husband!

 

[Loner]

I feel as if I were treading a bit dangerously here (don't want to hurt anyone), but some of what's in this long thread has actually helped me. Some of that, again, had caused me to blow up in the early years of healing but have helped only later-on. Some hasn't and probably never will. Hope you don't mind that input. Just saying.

I've wanted to post that in this thread for a while but have been too worried about people in the wrong place emotionally reading it.

One thing that every ptsd sufferer should hear, but you should never say to them, ;) hahahah, is that:

Its all in your head. It really is. That doesnt mean its not real, its as real as reality gets, but still, its just your past effecting you, its all in your head. I know how callous that sounds to many of you but it is so true. It is not meant to imply that you should simply be able to 'just get over it' but with enough work, perhaps someday you will see it really is all in your head. The way it effects you is real, but all your judgements of yourself as weak, worthless, not deserving of love, etc etc.... really are just illusions that your mind has created. The fear anxiety and pain are real enough though, they aren't illusions, but they are still all in your head.

I hope that makes sense. If anyone reads that now and it doesnt help, please just disregard it. It isn't meant to suggest you shouldnt be struggling because considering what the people on this site have been through its pretty expected that we would all struggle. Things can get better though, this is not your destiny, its not writ upon your soul, really, its just all in your head.

 

[DharmaGirl]

I understand Loner, when I get a flashback I try to breathe and let it go for now. I am not a little girl and if I work on it I will be the adult I know I can be.

 

[EvenStrongerNow]

I feel minimized when someone says....

"These kinds of discussions should be saved for your therapist..."
"Everyone has problems....you are not the only one..."
"Your situation is not unique...."
"Go out and exercise! It will distract you...."
"Are you sure you are eating the right things?"
"Take vitamins. They will rid you of nightmares."

 

[Deleted member 16543]

You just need to relax when you feel anxiety, use relaxation therapy, it's all in your head, your safe and fine, use your realistic mine. You just need to feel safe and get some sleep..OMG this from my therapist! Gee, how come I never thought of that, don't ya think I don't know that already?!@ And if I could I would???

 

[Deleted member 16543]

Another good one from my shrink...Just stop thinking about it, you think about it too much, that's your problem...,wow, thanks, what was your first clue?! Once again, don't ya think I know that already and would do it if I could??? That's why I'm here to see you idiot!!

 

[Shellbell]

Another good one from my shrink...Just stop thinking about it, you think about it too much, that's your problem...,wow, thanks, what was your first clue?! Once again, don't ya think I know that already and would do it if I could??? That's why I'm here to see you idiot!!

Wow, from a shrink! :(

 

[Ice_Fire]

I got this one yesterday:

"Why do you feel like you don't deserve anything? That's silly."

Erm...because that's all that I ever got told? And because I was treated accordingly? Thanks for the massive confidence boost.:rolleyes: