Great thread! I have to say my all time favorite pieces of unsolicited advice are "get over it" and "you can't live in the past".
Ummmm.....let me see. Why don't I slam your head into the ground about ten times, then hit you as hard as I can in the head about six times, and see how easy it is for you to "get over it". But seriously, all that traumatic brain injury simply CANNOT be the cause of your a) depression b) memory loss c) inability to pay attention d) migraines and other worsening cognitive difficulties. Next, I'm going to put my hands around your throat and attempt to choke you to death because I just don't think you have enough to "get over". When we get home, I'm going to pin you on the bed and slap you around a little, just because I'm bigger than you and I can.
These are just a few of the physical injuries you will have to "get over." Now I'm going to ask you to "get over" being used as a sperm receptacle/punching bag/doormat for not one, but two sociopaths for almost twenty years. Throw in a couple more random assaults here and there and you just might begin to "get over it" too- just like me.
To further help you "get over it", I'm going to expect you to live right across the street from the school where you were physically/emotionally bullied mercilessly for five years......on top of being molested regularly by a member of the staff. Aaaannnd.....I'm going to expect you to also "get over" not being able to go home and find a safe haven. I expect you to get over being "too sensitive" "lazy" and "negative". And if you have a problem with that.....you have only yourself to blame. You're the one who didn't pay attention in class.....you didn't want to do the work......and your negativity is why you are having problems making friends with your snobby POS classmates. Now, because you are five years old and only a child at that, I have absurdly unrealistic standards and very high expectations of you. I expect you to completely understand why it is your fault that I had to slap you, pinch you, whip you with switches, wooden spoons and any other weapon I could find. It is because of your memory loss that I had to nearly knock you out of your chair for forgetting to give me a telephone message. Don't you know? Mistakes are for the immature and childish. How DARE YOU question my love for you, BTW. And while we're at it, STOP THAT CRYING.......unless you want me to really give you something to cry about.
I expect you to be happy and have a wonderful @!#$ing life and make the most out of that fancy eighth grade education- not to mention all the valuable life skills we taught you about self-respect, self-worth and personal boundaries.
I expect you to "get over it, PRONTO.........because all the misery I caused you, is making me feel just a little bit uncomfortable.
{nothing but the truth....the whole truth......and a teeny bit of sarcasm}
