What To Never Say To A Ptsd Sufferer

[Definitely..maybe]

"I just don't want you missing out on everything."

"I think you've just gotten used to being lazy."

"I think you're just thinking about the sex with him like rape now because you're jealous of his girlfriends." Wow, nope! That 'sex' caused me to to have surgeries to repair the trauma to my body! And all the physical and emotional abuse was just him showing me how much he loved me I'm sure...

 

[Deleted member 1860]

"You're so bipolar"

Uhm, no, I'm not. I'm VERY reactive at times but that doesn't make me "bipolar". I have zero symptoms of mania. It is hurtful to me to call me bipolar and it's extremely disrespectful to those who actually suffer from bipolar disorder to throw this term around.

 

[ebci1]

I have been victim to many inconsiderate, ignorant, unsupportive and sometimes viciously cruel comments and statements. From my abusers to strangers to so called friends it is very hurtful, I'm finally getting better at dealing with comments like " Why would you want to think about that for!!" and "We all had shit childhoods what makes you so special" , " you're just acting like that for attention" ect. Most of the time I blank out the things they say and I can not remember the words just how it made me feel inside. It feels so good to finally find support and kindness when we need it so much.

 

[ms spock]

Is there are thread for coming up with witty and funny things to say back to people?

 

[ms spock]

One of my favourites from my family was my Great Aunt Anne Glendenning saying to my Great Aunt Doreen Kelloway that I was a dangerous person and why did I need to mention the sexual abuse as it had happened to them and they were fine.

(There were pretty mad)

 

[BlackbirdSinging]

"At some point you're going to have to make a conscious choice to make a shift in what you do". Said my therapist today. Because I don't? It's not what she said that bothers me because what she said is true. I just think she might remember that it was me that made the choice to get into therapy. And it's me who chooses to utilize the tools she's teaching me. And it's me who keeps choosing to show up for therapy every week. So while she wants me to make conscious choices about doing different things she should remember I'm doing exactly that as she guides me. And I did tell her I consider my deciding to get into therapy a conscious choice to do something different. She acknowledged and validated me for that.

 

[ms spock]

I have been victim to many inconsiderate, ignorant, unsupportive and sometimes viciously cruel comments and statements. From my abusers to strangers to so called friends it is very hurtful, Most of the time I blank out the things they say and I can not remember the words just how it made me feel inside. It feels so good to finally find support and kindness when we need it so much.

We need to have a humour and strategies thread to deal with this stuff.

That is a lot of unnecessary pain.

 

[PurpleSurvivor]

"Just say stop and don't listen when someone starts blaming you"

Yes, 'cause it's that easy. Sure I can use the word stop, but really. If someone punches you and you say "stop", does that make the punch undone? And in this case it doesn't matter that the rest of the body apparently doesn't get beat up (yes, I asked and that was the reply). Last time someone started blaming me I did stand up for myself, but that didn't help. It's not them that I need to convince not to blame me, it's myself.

And this was someone who had previously shown some common sense.

 

[Tympre]

My hated comments.
"You were fine yesterday"

'See you can do it" in referrence to leaving my house, as if it did not take me over a day to plan the excursion and prepare myself and the whole day after at least to recover.

"But you were fine doing this before" In referrence to conducting large meetings. Um yes but now I am not.

" Your at work" yes I am but um that does not make the PTSD go away. Hey if it was that easy I would never not be at work.

"I am here now, it will be ok" Um yeah you can fix everything for me... ok..... did not know you that much power......

And I find the daily and most of the time numerous times a day questions of "How are you handling it?" or"Hows are you doing today?" um if I was ok I would not be working in a limited position, I would be doing my job.....

 

[Meghan87]

I hate how lightly people throw around the illness bipolar, its not a sickness like the common cold and it doesn't make me insane or crazy or a bad person, it doesn't mean I will never make it anywhere in life or not live a happy life just like everyone else, no I cannot get rid of it or get over it, asking me to stop taking my meds and sort it out is like asking someone with diabetes to stop taking their meds and get over it..I need them I am not making it up or being weak, I didn't ask for it nor do I want it..If you think for one minute I live my life like this on purpose you are the insane one... Being bipolar is not a choice or an option and its terrible ...and people's ignorance of bipolar disorder and stupid comments make my bad days worse... I wish that I could make people who judge me have to live with it for a week... one of my worst weeks with no meds to help them....but I don't expect anyone to understand I don't understand myself sometimes, thankfully I have medication to help me and have learned how to get it under control but please world ...STOP calling bipolar people crazy ...we are not crazy we are intelligent some of us have talents beyond your wildest dreams and some of us have made it further in life then you ever will because you think the way you do. (* you being the "You're so bipolar" people) These same thoughts and feelings apply to my PTSD ....

 

[Deleted member 1860]

@Meghan87,
Well when big time stars like Katy Perry sing songs that essentially joke about being bipolar, no wonder society accepts it when the mentally ill are made fun of!

Really, I'm SO not a Katy Perry fan.

I love those new commercials where Hillary Duff et al take on people who make fun of gay people. Only I want to see someone famous take Katy down a notch or two because she makes fun of the mentally ill. I don't care if she did stick the word "love" in front of the word bipolar. The sentiment is the same, joking about "bipolar". Yeah, let's go sing/joke about other disorders like AIDS and Autism and MS and such. You'd look pretty stupid and dare I say you'd lose fans.

Unfortunately it's still ok to make fun of and joke about mental illness.

 

[Meghan87]

Amen ! haha well said :)