What To Never Say To A Ptsd Sufferer

[Deleted member 1860]

@rainy_daze,
Whatever. Apparently I am wrong and I'll shut up now. However, if you asked 100 people what "bipolar" meant, 99 would refer to mental illness. The 100th would say something about 2 poles, but only because s/he is a scientist.

 

[rainy_daze]

@Solara I'm aware we could go off topic on the thread, but just one post should be fine. No, I wasn't saying you were wrong, just that my opinion was different from yours, and that maybe the song isn't meant to be about what you think it is. Maybe you are right though, and that's what it is about, but I guess when I'm singing my head off to that song I'm not thinking it's about a relationship with a man who suffers from a mental illness and is bipolar. I do disagree about 99 out of 100 people would say mental illness. I'm not a scientist, I just understand polar extremes and something being referred to as bipolar doesn't necessarily mean mental health. Again, the differing of opinions. If it is a song about mocking the mentally ill, I would be very sad and annoyed. However, I just don't see it as that and feel like if someone did that, someone like Katy Perry, there would be a lot said about it, and possibly public outrage? I mean being bipolar isn't really like what the lyrics of the song explain, is it? Oh, I don't know. It's just a song I like. I guess I hadn't thought a great deal about it, other than it makes me happy to sing to and I liked it a lot when it was released.

I'm sorry if my post came across in the wrong way :( I'm struggling with how I'm coming across recently actually. That's a whole other discussion though. You don't need to shut up. I respect you for feeling deeply about something and, in a way, it's like you're sticking up for a group of people affected by a bipolar illness, which I think is a very admirable trait :hug:. I just hope things like this in the world can upset you less over time. If people continue to be ignorant in the world (I hope I'm not being; what I mean is the people who make fun of others) , then that is the way it is, but hopefully people can be hurt or upset by it less and ignore it :ninja:. Or challenge it. Hope you understand me :). I think I sound a bit :O_o:.

So, on-topic... What to never say to a PTSD sufferer...

"Maybe you should get up now, it's late in the day" :mad:. I sleep when I get the chance:sleep:. Don't try to have conversations with me when I'm sleeping. Maybe being awake is a good idea, but I'm too tired for good ideas sometimes :rolleyes:.

 

[Mercy]

Congratulations on your 6 months sober. That is a major victory!

My mother was bi-polar, manic/depressive and violent. When she was taken away, I thought she had died. No one ever spoke her name. The house felt funerial. I didn't hear her laughter any more. I grieved her, even if she wasn't always good. I grieved for her every time she hospitalized. My mother died about ten times in my childhood. I think I still mourn her for her sane times.

What not to say to someone with PTSD....."You are strong. You will get over it."

 

[PurpleSurvivor]

"Are you a real human?"

And no, I'm not making it up. I got asked this question after the other person found out that there are things that I don't like. And now I'm the bad guy for not liking it. Great.

 

[DharmaGirl]

Don't try to have conversations with me when I'm sleeping.

Me too! They know I don't sleep well, but they constantly wake me when I nap. Huh?

 

[It's Me]

I've had three so far that have really stuck:

(When my dad told my aunt and then passed her over to me, she's said) 'you really need to get over this' and 'just think of your dad'....yeah thanks because of cause I can just get over it and to be honest my dad doesn't really get any of this and I kind of need to sort myself out first....

Another was when I told my friend for the first time. She turned to me and said in an attempt to make me feel less alone that she too 'had it, but it didn't really affect her' so she didn't get why I was scared about it - I only told her incase I started acting strangely....

 

[xena21]

My Aunt sent me a religious book to "get over it"...She thought if I read it I would figure things out and not have PTSD anymore. I was appalled but too much of a wimp to let her know. She's part of my problem anyways from my childhood being so religiously strict. She has since moved close to me and I see her often. I am afraid to tell her what I think, but I want to.

Her son is one of the people who abused me as a child, and she just looks away like its a dream. I want to hang them all, but of course that wouldn't be very good either.

 

[Deleted member 27340]

"I was bullied also but I didn't cut myself anyway"
Now the bullying wasn't the main point here but did you know that people actually react differently as they are different humans.

"You just have to make an effort!"
Do you think I'd get 5,1 in grade average if I didn't try to accomplish something even though my mind can't focus on anything longer than maybe a minute? And do you think I'd get 5,1 in grade average with twice the knowledge I need in nearly all subjects and an IQ of above 135 if my concentration weren't a problem?

"You just gotta look forward, focus on the present and what you want to do with your life!"
In the present I am crying daily and constantly being both tired and afraid and I want to either end my life or stay this way because I've been sick for so long I can't REMEMBER what it's like to "just look forward". So get out or shut your mouth.

"Do you want to let what happened so long ago control your life?"
(this is supportive, but somehow stupid anyway and not really helpful) No, that's why it's a disorder.

"Can't you just do it." (about facing fears)
No, dear friend, you see: When I try to my heart starts beating fast as f*ck, adrenalin spreads in my body, I start shivering and if I'm lucky it stops here and only makes me fail at whatever I'm doing. If it doesn't stop I'll start hyperventilating, crying, screaming and sobbing.

"There's nothing to be afraid of here, you can stop having that anxiety, I promise."
My head is the problem, the uncomfortable environment in there makes me be as I am you condescending bastard."


Sorry for mixing up American and British English if I do so, I'm not a native speaker and the Internet is my main English input channel.

All of these are things I've been told and the replies are what I've thought in my head (too insecure to say them out loud). Most of them has been said by my buddy, he tries to help and somehow does but can't really understand this disorder.

 

[DharmaGirl]

I've been thinking about all the ways people tell us not to live in the past, we don't live there, its too horrid. We live the results of our past, not in the past.

 

[Mercy]

"Just don't think about it.".......in other words, "I'm not able to hear about your pain. It hurts me too."

 

[PurpleSurvivor]

"Learn from the past so it doesn't happen again."

 

[Tanishq]

@PurpleSurvivor yes, that can trigger some people when they look at past. I also avoid looking at past most times. It really depends how the listener/ptsd sufferer takes.