What Words Do You Use When Giving Sexual Details?

[Jade-]

When I started this thread, I stressed so much over what words I should use. Now I don't even really think about it, I just say whatever. Today in session I used the words screwed, fuc#ed, dick,etc. and I was fine.

I realize it doesn't matter what words are used, as long as the trauma is talked about.

 

[sarahts]

oooooooooh jeeeez im so glad i just found this post! . . . Its something i find very hard also and have therapy in 40 mins so the posts in here were so usefull to me . . . thanks jadebear for posting this , Sarah

 

[Jade-]

Glad this thread has been helpful sarah.

Since I started this, I have come a long way in how I discuss the sexual abuse. In the beginning I worried about offending my T. with certain words, and felt unsure if they would be appropriate or not. I don't even think about it anymore, I just say whatever comes to mind. If I wanna call it a dick, I do....if I wanna call it a johnson, a one-eyed monster, a willy....whatever, I just bluntly say it. It's easier that way.

 

[Rissy215]

Threads like this make me so relieved to have found this site. For so long I've thought I was the only one with many of my struggles but so many people on here have some of the same thoughts and understand. Finding the terminology to express past abuse has been holding me back for months in therapy and I just couldn't bring it up to my T because of fear he wouldn't understand.

 

[Rissy215]

So I saw my T tonight and at the beginning of the session I kind of danced around the problem and said I felt like terminology was holding me back from discussing traumas and it was clear he wasn't sure what I was alluding to and thought I meant psychology terminology so in the middle of the conversation I just blurted out "it's not ok to talk about penises!" and his jaw kind of dropped but we both laughed it off and then could talk about it. We didn't go into sexual traumas yet but it was a huge step. He doesn't care about anatomical terminology at all and asked what he could do to make things easier and I said it would actually be easier if he did care so he told me the terminology he grew up with and then what he'd learned about in sexual abuse trainings. It sounds weird but it was SO nice to get it out in the open.

Thank you, thank you, all of you.

 

[zaniara]

Oh. Congratulations to overcoming it. I haven't. I've been in therapy for over a year, but I still can't use those words, or say things like that straight out. But then again we work with EMDR so I don't always need to talk about any details to process it.

I think that most times my therapist can figure it out, since I'm usually getting a lot of bad body-memories when we work with EMDR(or if I get triggered enough in ther ways): like severe pain in those parts of my body. Or stuff like that.. Saying what I'm reliving, without saying too much, probably makes it easy for him to understand what happened. But maybe I'm avoiding stuff.. And maybe I should try to expose my self. But like someone else said: saying it's hard to say those things doesn't really cover how difficult it is(impossible right now). The words just get stuck.. They just don't come out. I even hate it when he uses those words sometimes: when he need to ask me about stuff..