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Whatcha doooooooin'?

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I am drinking stress relief tea with Kava and I dropped by to see what condition my condition is in. That is pretty much all that's going on with me this morning. I went to bed early and have been up since about 3 a.m., I am enjoying the silence and trying to catch up with things.
 
Hmm had possibly the same tea as you tonight. @Lionheart777. Hoping you are doing better. I'm waiting for my meds to kick in so I can sleep. Its been a long day. Added family history into my journal from a call to my mothers cousin. Saw a bigger picture of where abuse in my family has been. Hating that all this time and generations and I end up being the one where it all ends. A lot to digest and reflect on. My father with bipolar confirmed and strong possibility of maternal grandmother too. I'm getting the help they didnt.
 
I'm thinking of trying to quit having my drinking placebos so much. And the things I will have to do to help that happen. I need to get myself to stable first and I know I'm not there yet.
 
Having a so far calm day after big loop of depression and crying yesterday for several different reasons.

Last night at aa someone talked about being beaten by addiction and every time they said "beaten" I felt my hands being lifted above my head and being forced to my knees which is how my step father held me in place to hit me with a yard stick till he felt I'd had enough.

I stayed for rest of meeting, and cried after I got home.
 
Being lazy.

My goal is to clean the kitchen top to bottom. Walls, windows... the whole shebang. (It's been too long) We're getting a new fridge delivered next Saturday and I want it to be spiffy and organized.

J worked a few hours this morning so he's napping in his chair. He's supposed to clean and organize the spare room. It's basically all his clothes.

The weather is shite here so I'm spring cleaning in the middle of winter.

May paint the bathroom tomorrow. Although... I haven't mentioned that to J yet so that's probably a no go. (Gotta ease him into projects which is a pain in the butt for me sometimes, takes a lot of getting used to.)

Have a great day!! ?
 
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