Renly
Diamond Member
This thread is very interesting and I have a few thoughts to share based on my own personal experiences.
As someone also diagnosed with OSDD, the emailing has been a critically important aspect of my healing journey. Not only to help stabilize my-selves during times of crisis, but to share things with T I was unable to verbalize as well as giving parts the ability to communicate with T (since I have little control over my switching and parts are not always available in session to work through what’s going on for them). T may or may not respond to the emails, it’s always up to her and her discretion.
We also utilize our journal daily and share writings, art, personal objects, etc. with T so all parts can be heard/seen/acknowledged and have an opportunity to unburden and grow…as well as to strengthen internal communication and collaboration.
As far as scheduling, we meet for 1-hour every other week, 2-hours on the alternating weeks, and have group session twice per month. If I am struggling, I can request additional sessions (which T grants if she has them available) and I have a back up T (another therapist in her same office) in case I need support if T is not available (if she’s sick, out of town, or I am in crisis). The 2-hour sessions were absolutely needed for successful EMDR sessions.
T has been flexible with me and all these arrangements have kind of come into place organically. We have discussed boundaries and there are things I don’t do (like calling her on the phone) or only do very minimally (like texting).
T has said a few times (usually when I’m apologizing for emailing her because a lot of shame still lives there for me), that it’s actually been necessary for us to have that mode of communication between sessions because of how much is going on for all the parts.
I suppose if emailing wasn’t an option I could arrange to have 2-3 sessions per week instead, but financially that’s not really an option for me.
If emailing is really a no-go boundary for T, then collaborating with him regarding other ways to curate support/communication outside of that context is extremely important, in my opinion.
I believe I’ve been able to make significant progress pretty quickly because my parts have been acknowledged and connected with early on in treatment (even just starting with an IFS modality before my DD diagnosis).
I started to believe I may have a DD before T was ready to give me the diagnosis, and sometimes I felt some unspoken resistance from her when I described my experiences (to be fair, some of my parts present as extremely high functioning and neither T nor I were aware that I was a survivor of trafficking/the extents of my traumas yet because I was not privy to those memories held by the other parts)…so T was being cautious because it’s not a label to throw out lightly…But sensing her resistance during this time period pushed me into huge feelings that I was actually insane and made me deny my parts/my experiences/what was really going on inside and caused more trouble for me. I was already struggling with massive feelings of denial and that contributed to it (hell, I still struggle with denial)…but it truly compounded my struggles.
Denial underlies the nature of dissociative disorders, and until T openly and verbally validated my experiences and the presence of my parts, I struggled immensely to feel comfortable being 100% honest in expressing my experiences…the shame was overwhelming. And I denied my parts what they needed to start to heal. All parts need to be seen, heard, and validated.
It has been an absolutely critical component to my healing.
The right support needs to be in place for so many reasons.
The main thing for me was to notice with curiosity. And sit with the not knowing yet. And then a little at a time my brain opened things up. It’s been chaos, messy, scary… but an ultimately rewarding experience when I started to know who the parts were, why they are here, and when parts started to learn to work together as a team instead of being at war.
Ultimately @beaneeboo - things can be sorted out with T, you just have to figure out if you have enough support (for all parts) within the therapeutic framework he can provide. The only way to figure that out is through communication (and vulnerability…so scary)! So maybe that means you can make it work with him as is. Or maybe it’s T plus additional supports (adding xyz), or maybe that means seeing someone who specializes in dissociative disorders. Feeling misunderstood and not validated by T feels so yucky, but it absolutely can be worked out and that’s part of the process of therapy. And there is no one size fits all. You’ve got to figure out what works for you (all of yous).
Wishing you the best as you sort through it all!
My T allows emails. I’ve struggled with a lot of shame over the emails, but I realize that has always been more of a “me problem” since I feel like I should be able to take care of things myself (when really reaching out for help has been necessary). I try to limit the emails as much as possible to be considerate of T and her time…but, I do utilize them if I need help.
As someone also diagnosed with OSDD, the emailing has been a critically important aspect of my healing journey. Not only to help stabilize my-selves during times of crisis, but to share things with T I was unable to verbalize as well as giving parts the ability to communicate with T (since I have little control over my switching and parts are not always available in session to work through what’s going on for them). T may or may not respond to the emails, it’s always up to her and her discretion.
We also utilize our journal daily and share writings, art, personal objects, etc. with T so all parts can be heard/seen/acknowledged and have an opportunity to unburden and grow…as well as to strengthen internal communication and collaboration.
As far as scheduling, we meet for 1-hour every other week, 2-hours on the alternating weeks, and have group session twice per month. If I am struggling, I can request additional sessions (which T grants if she has them available) and I have a back up T (another therapist in her same office) in case I need support if T is not available (if she’s sick, out of town, or I am in crisis). The 2-hour sessions were absolutely needed for successful EMDR sessions.
T has been flexible with me and all these arrangements have kind of come into place organically. We have discussed boundaries and there are things I don’t do (like calling her on the phone) or only do very minimally (like texting).
T has said a few times (usually when I’m apologizing for emailing her because a lot of shame still lives there for me), that it’s actually been necessary for us to have that mode of communication between sessions because of how much is going on for all the parts.
I suppose if emailing wasn’t an option I could arrange to have 2-3 sessions per week instead, but financially that’s not really an option for me.
If emailing is really a no-go boundary for T, then collaborating with him regarding other ways to curate support/communication outside of that context is extremely important, in my opinion.
I agree with this. It took about 8 months before T started to really consider I may actually have a dissociative disorder and just over a year before she gave me the OSDD diagnosis. My trauma was well hidden from me (and T) until things started to just ooze and/or explode out. It took a long time before my parts were able to front in session.
I believe I’ve been able to make significant progress pretty quickly because my parts have been acknowledged and connected with early on in treatment (even just starting with an IFS modality before my DD diagnosis).
I disagree with this to a certain extent…yes, we cannot always get validation and sometimes it’s more problematic for us to look for it where it’s not available or if it’s regarding something that should NOT actually be validated…but sometimes it is 100% absolutely necessary for our healing.
I started to believe I may have a DD before T was ready to give me the diagnosis, and sometimes I felt some unspoken resistance from her when I described my experiences (to be fair, some of my parts present as extremely high functioning and neither T nor I were aware that I was a survivor of trafficking/the extents of my traumas yet because I was not privy to those memories held by the other parts)…so T was being cautious because it’s not a label to throw out lightly…But sensing her resistance during this time period pushed me into huge feelings that I was actually insane and made me deny my parts/my experiences/what was really going on inside and caused more trouble for me. I was already struggling with massive feelings of denial and that contributed to it (hell, I still struggle with denial)…but it truly compounded my struggles.
Denial underlies the nature of dissociative disorders, and until T openly and verbally validated my experiences and the presence of my parts, I struggled immensely to feel comfortable being 100% honest in expressing my experiences…the shame was overwhelming. And I denied my parts what they needed to start to heal. All parts need to be seen, heard, and validated.
It has been an absolutely critical component to my healing.
Yes, 100%. A few years in and it’s still immensely destabilizing. I’ve been connecting with 2 new parts across the last month or so (after establishing growing relationships with a handful of parts at this point) and although I know what to expect to some degree now, I’ve still be thrown into crisis. I still struggle with SI, SH, and out of control behaviors of the parts. It’s serious business and no joke.
This happened to me as well, with OSDD. It is still a struggle we are learning to manage.
Yes. The parts inevitably will do what parts do and it can be extremely scary. I don’t lose time in the present (thus the OSDD and not DID diagnosis), but when the parts front, I am 100% out of control of myself and my actions - I’m at the mercy of my parts…and it’s a very vulnerable (and sometimes dangerous) place to be.
The right support needs to be in place for so many reasons.
This is a really complex question for me. Once I began actively practicing noticing myself and my inner experiences I (very slowly) started seeing what was really happening. I started noticing when I would switch and what those parts felt like in the front. Some parts talk to me verbally and we converse in my head, some parts it is a sense of “knowing”what they are saying (without words)….parts begin to feel other parts sensations/emotions/memories “oozing” onto them. Some parts only live inside (do not front) and the ones I hear inside have different voices. Usually, at the beginning of learning about a part, it’s just a sense of huge “overwhelm” and these scary feelings that I don’t know what’s happening. Then a lot of “automatic behaviors” are parts in action.
The main thing for me was to notice with curiosity. And sit with the not knowing yet. And then a little at a time my brain opened things up. It’s been chaos, messy, scary… but an ultimately rewarding experience when I started to know who the parts were, why they are here, and when parts started to learn to work together as a team instead of being at war.
Communication is foundational. And I’ve needed help (from more than just T, but her especially) to sort all this out. I (for the most part on most days) accept my diagnosis…the denial still exists sometimes. But…for the few people that know my diagnosis (my husband, siblings, a couple really close friends), they have said everything about me finally makes sense to them. They have words to explain what they have been seeing for years but didn’t understand. It’s harder for me to be in denial when others around me help me accept reality/my parts/my whole self.
Ultimately @beaneeboo - things can be sorted out with T, you just have to figure out if you have enough support (for all parts) within the therapeutic framework he can provide. The only way to figure that out is through communication (and vulnerability…so scary)! So maybe that means you can make it work with him as is. Or maybe it’s T plus additional supports (adding xyz), or maybe that means seeing someone who specializes in dissociative disorders. Feeling misunderstood and not validated by T feels so yucky, but it absolutely can be worked out and that’s part of the process of therapy. And there is no one size fits all. You’ve got to figure out what works for you (all of yous).
Wishing you the best as you sort through it all!
