What's In a Name?

[Chris-duck]

My T only knows my actual full name, which I don't go by but is obv the name I have to give for identity/medical reasons. But she never uses it except from "hey (name)" when she's getting me from waiting room so it's never an issue.

My full name is (double barrelled first name) (double barrelled middle name) (two surnames). Which is a pure mouthful. But I go by Chrissy literally everywhere. And when people ask my name I get confused because I need to think why they want it before answering. Like is it to verify my identity, to know what to call me.. etc. So I always come off pretty thick :laugh:

I keep meaning to tell T. But it doesn't seem important because she rarely says my name

 

[piratelady]

Mine calls me by a shorter version of my first name sometimes. (Like P rather than Piratelady) I never call him by his name. It feels too weird. Even when I went therapist shopping and the potential new one asked who I had been seeing, I felt so strange saying his name. I don't even type it in emails to him, I just say, "Hello, I need an a appointment" or whatever. Maybe one day I'll be able to say it....maybe.

 

[Stephernovas]

I've tried to 'middle name' my therapist - you know, when you're in trouble and your mother calls you by your full name. Although I don't know her middle name, so when she says something that I don't want to answer, I end up saying her full first and last name. I enjoy it because it usually throws people off

Or, my favourite is to call her by her last name - for example if my therapist was 'Carrie Underwood', I'd say something like 'Underwood, what the hell?!'

 

[blackemerald1]

It depends - My psydoc is... always 'doctor insert surname'. My T is her first name. My GP is first name. Depends bc I was raised and trained to respect position. So that naturally flows into these situations.

They use my name a lot. To keep me on track or call me back.

It's nice to have my name spoken in such gentle and kind ways tones. It feels healing.

 

[whiteraven]

They said it means I was trying to bring the therapist from above to my level

Or maybe it just shows a level of comfort and familiarity with that person.

My therapist only calls me by name in email. I don't think he's ever used my name in therapy. My last one did only when I dissociated, because having my name called helped ground me.

I think though, like @EveHarrington said, all that is not unusual. It's not common to use a name in conversation.

 

[Missycat]

@grit , interesting that you read using t name is being narcissistic as it brought them to our level.
They are at our level, they are human beings .
For me , using first names makes me feel more comfortable which is important for building the relationship needed for trauma therapy.

 

[grit]

@grit , interesting that you read using t name is being narcissistic as it brought them to our level.
They are at our level, they are human beings .
For me , using first names makes me feel more comfortable which is important for building the relationship needed for trauma therapy.

I know what you are saying...right? But it seems this is maybe a residue from the psychoanalytical world. I also think they are at our level but I also feel the relationship is not symmetrical.

 

[Missycat]

@grit , yeah i’d agree with that. I suppose when i first met my t i did initially put her on a pedestal , she is a consultant pyschologist specialising in trauma and as it was my first time in therapy and she really helped me i was in awe of her. Whilst i still had absolute respect for her the relationship became more even - something she worked with me to do .. i remember her saying that she had learned alot from me too.

 

[jade53]

I think if mine referred to me by name more than once on the first occasion and only the two of us were in the room, I'm not really sure what I'd be thinking or saying, but from experience probably wouldn't be returning :)
I might be inclined to ask why.