What's Keeping You Alive?

[James B.]

The ability to sit outside on a silent starlit night and enjoy the atmosphere, keeps me alive.

 

[Jade-]

Burger King

Taco Bell

McDonalds

Arbys

Dairy Queen

 

[intothelight]

My husband
My children
My dogs
Camp fires
Mist rising off the water in the morning
A baby's toothless grin
Sunsets and sunrises
Running the slalom course the day I turned 50
Setting the squirrels free from my neighbors trap

 

[Jade-]

I really need to think of some more right now.

The smell of coffee brewing in the morning.

Doing something nice for someone without them ever knowing it was you that did it.

Pringles potato chips....they're all the same size and shape and come in a can...so simple and good

 

[James B.]

Well, tonight what's keeping me alive is the hope that tomorrow the cool bird I tried to take pictures of today, will come back.

It is a bird critically endangered in Canada and declining in general on the continent. The Loggerhead Shrike. I got awesome shots today, but sadly my camera had rolled into the wrong setting, and they were all over-exposed. Darn. Anni? "My legs are black and blue from self-kicking, certainly". LOL. Sure hoping it comes back tomorrow. Really neat bird, almost like a tiny hawk.

 

[Jade-]

Trying to think of something this morning......

If I'm completely honest, right now I guess it's this place. Where else can I say all the things I do without being locked away?

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

1) My family. My grandma would be upset, my mother, my husband.
2) If I did kill myself then everyone WOULD know I failed
3) religion...maybe..I don't know how God views people who are mental ill and commit suicide. I know in mine its forbidden, but when you are mentally ill do you count towards the general public?
4) Sometimes...I really do want to try to accomplish my goals.
5) sometimes I think I can make it...
6) my T, I promised him I wouldn't...and like he said I " look like a person who would keep your word" Damn!

Maybe it's worth staying alive...maybe it will get better. Maybe Maybe Maybe

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Something funny...the cat scratched my husband he's looking at him arm and as this expression on his face like a pouting child.
I'm sitting there thinking you should look at my arms.

Okaynot really funny, kinda sick actually.

 

[rjtransient]

My 2 cents: The primal will to live, the satisfaction of knowing how much one person can go through without giving in, and a deep, deep love of life and this insane world.

I'd miss the vivid dreams. I'd miss music.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Hiking...though I haven't done that since I got married cuz my husband is lazy and I resent him for that.

 

[Sammy]

Great thread!

My 14 year old German Shepherd Dog
Sheer orneriness.
Waiting to see if the d*** cat I am supposed to be taking care of decides to return from her escape into the conservation land (this one actually makes me really sad and feel like a failure)
A need to prove I am not as worthless I was told.
Chocolate/brownie ice cream.
S'Mores.
The silence of the night.
Starry skies.
Promises I need to keep.
Full moons.
Blizzards/Nor'Easters
Bird feeders (that end up feeding more chipmunks than birds on some days)

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

hmmm...

My T gives me hope...And I promised him
Painting
sunlight
sunflowers
a great nights sleep
Religion---I don't want to go to hell, I just sometimes want to end my own hell...can't trade one for the other.

Haven't figured out the best way to kill myself yet...find myself thinking about the how I can a lot ( is that bad?) like if I drive into this wall, will i die pretty fast, or will it hurt? Or maybe a tree? Should I make it look like an accident? Is that suicidal thoughts? Maybe I should email my T....

Makes my stomach twist