What's Keeping You Alive?

[Deleted member 6617]

The hope that this lump of clay can find the shape and value it is meant to have.

 

[Unhinged]

Today I am thinking of my sister and how I need to be strong for her. She is on Search and Rescue and told me that she feels like she is following my foot steps. So today she is keeping me alive. She just left on a mission to find a lost hunter, so I'm going to stay up tonight and make sure she gets home ok.

 

[Deleted member 5760]

That is very caring and lovely of you unhinged, but please make sure you get the sleep you need also. Perhaps you could lay in bed and as you're going to sleep you could say a little 'prayer' in your head that you can send her love in your dreams. That way you might be taking care of both of you. Then leave your phone by the bed so that if she needs you she can reach you and you don't make yourself sick with worry in the meantime.

Your post actually made me a lil bit teary it's so caring.

 

[Nicolette]

If nothing else, I would think the hope that tomorrow will be a better day would be enough to have hope as at least you still have choices..........when dead there are no choices and no changing anything for the better (you give away all your control over your life) :(

 

[Unhinged]

Thanks for the thoughts Jen. I usually can't sleep at night anyways, just lay in bed and watch movies or read. My sister has been on my mind all day. We chatted a lot on the phone and I finally told her I had PTSD. She said she knew it was something but didn't want to bring it up until I did. I don't know why I never discussed it with her before but now it feels like a big weight has been lifted. I only hope she can handle the job and the stresses of our lives better then I did.

 

[Deleted member 5760]

That's good that she was supportive hun. I do the same thing - I had to get a second tv for the bedroom because I find it helps put me to sleep to have a movie playing in the background. Might sound silly - but sometimes what works for me is putting on a movie I've seen heaps of times. So I know what's gonna happen next in the movie and I find I'm not concentrating as much on it. Doesn't always work if I'm really stressed. But sometimes helps for me. It's just there playing in the background, but I'm not putting too much thought into following it. Then I just set the auto timer and hope it works. Does sometimes :)

And you know the phone is there on the bedside table if anything happens. You're not gonna do her or you any good wearing yourself out, though I can tell from your post how much you care x

 

[Unhinged]

My friends here on the forum. You are all great and it really brightens my day when there are messages waiting for me.

 

[Jade-]

People that have the balls to tell me what I need to hear, even if it pisses me off.

 

[Unhinged]

Spite. I won't let them win today. No matter how much they are trying, and oh how they are trying.

 

[Jade-]

That I'm going back to work today after not being *able* to all week. It helps me see that setbacks are just that and not the end of the world.

 

[tigrou465]

My kids (2) and my grandson and baby on the way for my daughter inlaw!

 

[Jade-]

My husband. He is being so supportive and helpful.