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What's Keeping You Alive?

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I'd like to say my daughter is what keeps me alive. I know it is what I've said in the past. But I've recently been struggling with the idea that she might just be better off without me.

So for now the thing keeping me alive is knowing that I don't want to ruin her holiday. When the holidays are over I'll have to find a new reason to cling to. I guess right now it's just about little steps to help keep staying alive from feeling too overwhelming.
 
I am fortunate enough to have survived severe, prolonged traumas from childhood and have made a lot of progress over the past decade. I have found that I have lots of reasons to live and many things to be grateful for...

My family and friends are among the top reasons I have to keep on keeping on, but the most important reason is that I deserve a good and happy life, especially after all the hell that I have been through in the past.

I wake up each day, thankful to be alive. Once, not so long ago, I prayed to die and tried to take my own life, so there is a great difference in how I used to think and feel then, and the way I think and feel today.

I have hope and deep, inner-peace that no one can take away from me....I've worked hard for it / have earned it and I have a lot of love to share with the world. There is just no comparison to the way I feel today and the pain, depression, and hopelessness of the past. I guess if I had to answer the question, "What is keeping me alive?" with one word, it would be 'love'!:inlove:
 
:)
I have hope and deep, inner-peace that no one can take away from me....I've worked hard for it / have earned it and I have a lot of love to share with the world. There is just no comparison to the way I feel today and the pain, depression, and hopelessness of the past. I guess if I had to answer the question, "What is keeping me alive?" with one word, it would be 'love'!:inlove:

Thank you so much Lionheart for sharing you with us! And, for sharing here today within this thread!
 
guess if I had to answer the question, "What is keeping me alive?" with one word, it would be 'love'!:inlove:
Lionheart, Your post left me speechless in the best possible way! It's a testament that love conquers all! Thank you so much for sharing that! I'm so encouraged to "keep on keepin' on" and renewed with courage after reading it! I think you should be a knight! *nods head* I'm so very happy for you!!:)
 
One day it might even be because I love myself enough.

You know, this is something my T and I have talked about. One day a few weeks ago, I spoke with her and later that day had an epiphany: I've been told before that the people we surround ourselves with typically reflect our own personalities.

At first, that scared me because while I love my family, I really don't like the way they treat me. Then I realized that the friends I've chosen and the people I speak to at school are people I chose to be around, They are really, really great people and if that saying is true, then I can't be all that bad. I don't know if that thought would help you, but I know it is helping me start to see myself as a decent person.
 
My family keeps me alive. They are my reason for living. I have everything in my family. I do not know what I would do without them. I lost my son to a motorcycle accident accident and live in fear that something bad will happen to my daughter and my granddaughters. I guess I am superstitious. I even had a twinge of fear of fear that today would be the end of the world. It was only a twinge. I have to watch the magical thinking. I tend to horribalize.
 
I think it depends upon what you mean by "alive". If you mean the physical body, the doctor's are still trying to figure out why I'm still alive. If you mean mentally, it's because someday my children might find me and I want them to be able to understand why their mother was so different than others in the family said I was. I want to be well enough in spite of all that's happened to be someone they can be proud to call their mother. If you mean spiritually, God is what keeps me alive.
 
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