What's the difference between connection with a therapist and dependency on them?

[barefoot]

I’ve been circling around this thread and not replying for a few days now. Partly because I think I have some similar thoughts/concerns as you when it comes to relationship with/feelings for T.

But also because I think it’s complicated.

Personally, I think it’s too simplistic to consider it in terms of how upset you’d be if you had to stop seeing your T at short notice or whether it’s right or not to look at their website/photo/emails between sessions etc.

Because when attachment issues are in the mix of therapeutic work? And when there’s transference at play too? Things become much deeper and more complex.

 

[Freddyt]

Woow.....Heck of a question.

Connection - I always use the phrase "personal connection" because it really is. It's where you understand without saying all the words....

Professional Relationship - is what we have, because my T - is being the person they are in therapy - on purpose. There is a reason they are being that person......

Dependency - We are dependent on our T - to a degree. We need them to be there when stuff shakes loose unexpectedly.

It goes wrong when we "romanticize" the relationship and turn it into more than it is. My T needs to be the person they are to make therapy work, and thats our relationship - that relationship that helps my therapy work, where I can say what I need to say. But its professional, any care they show is professional - not personal. Yes they care about me, but they are not coming to my birthday party or going for drinks or any of that. Therapy and what we need from therapy is what they have to give us.