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When grounding leaves you flooded with being raped feelings

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What I realised at one point was that I was removed from myself all the time, emotionally and bodily.
That is what I am really struggling with. I am really struggling with this!

The massive overwhelming shame is humungus. It just floods in, and I want to die, to numb, to eat, to binge watch TV, to dissociate.

Grounding is essentially getting in touch with the here and now - both internally and externally.
That is something I struggle to understand.


That can be a problem if everything in you uses a coping method of trying to get away from these things.
This is the problem. I have rarely been there or here, or anywhere.
It doesn't take much for me to go in to depersonalisation , derealisation, dissociation, binge eating, numbing, self attacking, corrosive self doubt,

For me being in touch or aware of my body was triggering. I worked on a half way point solution initially.
That is the tricky diabolical bit.

Doing mindfulness and grounding that wasn't about the body as much as time, place, environment.
That is why I am trying to learn a musical instrument.

The body part needed to still be focused outwards if that makes sense. Not too much focus on the body itself.
Yeah, yeah, yeah! That I cannot do as of yet! Trying to get that - I seem to need about 4 hours of physical activity to actually be grounded but still can have a panic attack.

I kind of think I know what you mean but I am not sure I really know.

Couldn't read this all so please excuse if not relevant! I hope you find something that works for you.


That is really helpful @Abstract - you really get the body as a trigger
 
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I think I may understand a bit. Someone else mentioned how it doesn't sound like you're actually grounded, but triggered/dissociated instead. Maybe you need to find another technique that works for you rather than against you? I can't quite figure out why yet but some techniques area highly triggering for me. Calming music, meditation, imagery, and "being present" in my body are commonly used as grounding techniques especially for anxiety, but my mind either bounces around and can't focus/imagine a safe place, or it gets locked on to intense flashbacks and send me into a panic. I've had to walk out of groups before during the meditation part. I found one way I partially can stay present is physically touching something like a fidget spinner, rubberband, pen, or shoelaces. I may start to dissociate, but not fully. It took me a while of trial and error to figure that out and then to remember to do it in the moment.
 
Are you practicing grounding when you are struggling or while you are at rest?

I now use essential oils to ground after many years of work. Olfactory is the best sense to attempt to ground to just because it has the most straightforward connection to the brain.

Prior to that I used super sour or hot candies to actually remind myself that I actually had a body. It took a shitload of seriously out of this world 'feeling' to slam back into my body and sometimes was hit with enormous flashbacks. It was then that I learned that these things were best done when I was well-er - otherwise I would attach crappy and out of control feelings to my attempts to ground and that would make grounding a bad thing.
 
I always have difficulty with grounding @shimmerz, whilst at rest, whilst being still, whilst moving and definitely when I am struggling. I have very little connection to my body or being in my body.
 
still, after a fair amount of work.
Do you work on grounding techniques when you are well 70's? I recall that being drilled into me over and over again. I always tried to pull those tools out when I was 'in something' and that made it an impossible hill to climb because I was always dissociated by then.

Also, I had quite a few people who knew me that would catch me when I went to rub my eyes (dissociative) or started walking funny - which helped to catch me before I was irretrievable.
 
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