When grounding leaves you flooded with being raped feelings

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I so get that @zygo

 

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Gillian Welch and David Rawlings The Way It Will Be

My biggest problem is that I have no relationship with myself. I don't often feel who and what and where I am. I finally almost got a safe place to be and that has fallen apart. f*ck it I have tried so hard. There is no safe place for me to be. I am so triggered at this time.

I told J that part of the reason that I moved out was because I felt so exposed and vulnerable about living in the house after what PTW did here.

 

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This is still a really big issue in terms of sleeping, and in terms of curtailing the binge eating I do before I go to bed. I am going to try to work out a new routine to manage this.

 

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My biggest problem is that I have no relationship with myself.

I have started to develop a relationship with myself.

 

[KwanYingirl]

@Disco Dancing Queen late to this thread. I’m struggling recently with dissociation, grounding failures, generally aware that I am trying my best to NOT be aware. Blissfully unaware of my peril. Intellectually I think that my mind rapidly swings from limbic discord and prefrontal cortex activity. It’s a battle I feel like I’m watching from across the room.

In better times, I practice shamanic journeying to get grounded. If I don’t have twelve minutes for a Journey I summon my spirit guides, my primary being wolf but also accompanied by an Indigenous man who is very kind to me. As someone else mentioned, I mindfully connect to the earth and to deeper levels.

Why I fall off the beam and end up being right back to the beginning is still a mystery. It’s not like I tell myself to abandon the skills I’ve been taught over and over and over. I just do. I literally cannot pull out of flashbacks and I am not kidding, it can take a week for me to recover from nightmares, flashbacks, lack of sleep.

And by the way, we have similar taste in music. Sarah Jarosz, while she attended the Boston Conservatiry, played a lot of gigs in Portland Maine where I live. One memorable evening, she opened for John Prine and sang In Spite of Ourselves. Portland has a rich music culture.

I’m sorry that you’re struggling too. Sending hope for calm to you.

 

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Thanks @KwanYingirl. I am not in a good way.

Sarah Jarosz is amazing! You have such impressive taste in music. ;) Bonnaroo 2014: Sarah Jarosz - "Crazy" // The Bluegrass Situation

Sarah Jaroz - When Doves Cry 6/10/17

 

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I have found success with labeling thoughts and using coping/comforting thoughts.
I like saying, "There is that feeling again. It is a body sensation."

I am going to try this.

 

[KwanYingirl]

https://youtu.be/1Yah0CqJqUM Transatlantic Sessions featuring Sarah and Alison Krause.

Have you watched any videos by Tara Brach? I can’t remember who started a challenge to help increase mindfulness. Anyway, she’s incredible. A PhD in clinical psychology and a practicing Buddhist. She leads a weekly hour long talk at a UU church in Maryland and they post them on YouTube. She teaches mindfulness but also explains the physiology of the brain and shares witty and poignant stories.

 

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I did start that challenge to increase Mindfulness, and yes I did share Tara Brach, and thanks for the reminder because it has been a long time since I watched her. I also haven't listened much to "The Mindful Way Through Depression". Thanks for that!

 

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https://youtu.be/1Yah0CqJqUM Transatlantic Sessions featuring Sarah and Alison Krause.

Beautiful. I do find music grounding. It really does help!

The Tara Brach ones I did find really helpful.

 

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Until I stopped eating so much I didn't realise what a huge problem this is for me. This is a huge problem for me.

 

[Abstract]

What I realised at one point was that I was removed from myself all the time, emotionally and bodily. Grounding is essentially getting in touch with the here and now - both internally and externally. That can be a problem if everything in you uses a coping method of trying to get away from these things. For me being in touch or aware of my body was triggering. I worked on a half way point solution initially. Doing mindfulness and grounding that wasn't about the body as much as time, place, environment. The body part needed to still be focused outwards if that makes sense. Not too much focus on the body itself. Couldn't read this all so please excuse if not relevant! I hope you find something that works for you.