SeanCharles
Diamond Member
Okay!
Yesterday before my shift was to end I was pulled into a meeting that I was warned about previously yesterday by one of my direct supervisor's supervisors. This meeting was a verbal warning which went into my employment record.:(
With this meeting several concerns were brought to my attention. It was explained that I am the Deli Janitor in addition to other expected tasks including doing customer service which I have been pulled from because the cleaning which I am expected to do wasn't and in ways still isn't being completely done. I am scheduled 7 hours a day, 5 days a week. This translates to 35 hours a week.
I feel that in many ways I am being treated like my non-disabled co-workers who can get their duties done at a level which I cannot do because of my disabilities which affect all areas of my life including my job performance.
When I initially was hired by the company, the food management was different than it is now and that management team is no long over me. The current management team leader, is someone I have known since I began with the company and they successfully have met their career goal.
Unfortunately for me, my goals, aspirations, and future are not in line with this company. Because of my current earning situation because there is a union contract which I am paid in accordance to, my wages exceed to Substantial Gainful Activity (SGA) which is the first of the two determining factors that Social Security uses to determine if an individual is indeed disabled. Because too I have waiting too long, or rather dropped a critical ball That required a form be completed by someone within the company that knows me and knows how my pay is structured, whether or not a subsidy exists or not, was not submitted and returned to Social Security because of stress and/or anxiety and other mixed feelings about opening a can of worms so to speak that could come back on me.
I feel like the proverbial deer caught in the headlights and feel trapped. Leaving this company is proving difficult while I am also spiraling down a major cliff. With that my outward appearance is taking a beating which does not and has not had a positive reflection in terms of my current work experience with this company. While I am struggling to make my bosses happy, I feel like I am wasting not only their time, I am also wasting my own time even though the company is trying to develop me, into what remains to be the serious question; Which has been the underlying question from the beginning because they want to protect me from job loss, yet they don't seem to remember that I am a disabled individual.
In terms of the PTSD and how it's affecting my work situation I am still trying to figure out. I know that by having a seizure at work that no apparent effect (brain damage or otherwise) appears to affect my ability to do the cleaning. My boss keeps praising me that she knows I can clean. Although the cleaning list seems to be a bit unfair because during my time off, I am wondering who does it, if someone who is supposed to isn't doing that for whatever reason. This seems like one huge game and I am spiraling majorly.
One thing I do see quite a bit of which is PTSD related is quite a bit of negative intrusive thinking (disassociation connected which is too negative and would concern therapists because of the negative thinking involved.)
Whew! I think I am gonna end this post for now.
Yesterday before my shift was to end I was pulled into a meeting that I was warned about previously yesterday by one of my direct supervisor's supervisors. This meeting was a verbal warning which went into my employment record.:(
With this meeting several concerns were brought to my attention. It was explained that I am the Deli Janitor in addition to other expected tasks including doing customer service which I have been pulled from because the cleaning which I am expected to do wasn't and in ways still isn't being completely done. I am scheduled 7 hours a day, 5 days a week. This translates to 35 hours a week.
I feel that in many ways I am being treated like my non-disabled co-workers who can get their duties done at a level which I cannot do because of my disabilities which affect all areas of my life including my job performance.
When I initially was hired by the company, the food management was different than it is now and that management team is no long over me. The current management team leader, is someone I have known since I began with the company and they successfully have met their career goal.
Unfortunately for me, my goals, aspirations, and future are not in line with this company. Because of my current earning situation because there is a union contract which I am paid in accordance to, my wages exceed to Substantial Gainful Activity (SGA) which is the first of the two determining factors that Social Security uses to determine if an individual is indeed disabled. Because too I have waiting too long, or rather dropped a critical ball That required a form be completed by someone within the company that knows me and knows how my pay is structured, whether or not a subsidy exists or not, was not submitted and returned to Social Security because of stress and/or anxiety and other mixed feelings about opening a can of worms so to speak that could come back on me.
I feel like the proverbial deer caught in the headlights and feel trapped. Leaving this company is proving difficult while I am also spiraling down a major cliff. With that my outward appearance is taking a beating which does not and has not had a positive reflection in terms of my current work experience with this company. While I am struggling to make my bosses happy, I feel like I am wasting not only their time, I am also wasting my own time even though the company is trying to develop me, into what remains to be the serious question; Which has been the underlying question from the beginning because they want to protect me from job loss, yet they don't seem to remember that I am a disabled individual.
In terms of the PTSD and how it's affecting my work situation I am still trying to figure out. I know that by having a seizure at work that no apparent effect (brain damage or otherwise) appears to affect my ability to do the cleaning. My boss keeps praising me that she knows I can clean. Although the cleaning list seems to be a bit unfair because during my time off, I am wondering who does it, if someone who is supposed to isn't doing that for whatever reason. This seems like one huge game and I am spiraling majorly.
One thing I do see quite a bit of which is PTSD related is quite a bit of negative intrusive thinking (disassociation connected which is too negative and would concern therapists because of the negative thinking involved.)
Whew! I think I am gonna end this post for now.
