When You Isolate

[jenkins123]

Not sure where to put this, but just something I wondered. When sufferers isolate, I understand it is often to self protect. It can also be because a loved one is not listening to a need for time/space/boundaries etc. Can it also ever be to protect their loved ones? I.e. they know their behaviour/reactions etc may not be well controlled at this time.

 

[Linda Lee Bogard - King]

Yes jenkins123, it's what I do when I wake up in tears for no 'apparent' reason - I need to protect them from my anger or my words will crush them. I feel a need to be isolated from others when I have days like this because not everyone is privy to my most intimate and traumatic secrets ... And, I don't want to share everything with just anyone.

 

[revelry]

That's a really good question. I'm kinda in that situation, he's isolated himself and i can't reach him, or read his mind. Maybe its both.

 

[Cthulhu]

Yes, I do from time to time isolate myself from loved ones to protect them, and best they can do is to just accept it- I'll come back. If I'm in that kind of state and people approach me nevertheless they get hurt. As I don't want that to happen I do something against it, and retreat is the one and only thing that works very well. It's just for a while.

 

[cherryblossom]

Absolutely Jenkins. As a PTSD sufferer, I isolate a lot. And I suppose it's quite complex why I do. Part of it is to protect me, but others parts is to protect others. I generally feel so down on myself that I don't feel I should inflict myself on others. Some of that is because they don't understand..... but maybe that's because I haven't made them understand. Often I could do with company, but still be 'allowed' to sit in my own space and time, and not talk. But most people expect chat, if you've asked for company.

It's complicated, and I'm not doing well describing it... maybe I'll come back to this later.

 

[Linda Lee Bogard - King]

Cherryblossom, you describe it quite well and sometimes it's just having the company around without the need for conversation that provides a safe space in your time. Unless, the people around you have also been traumatized - it would be difficult for them to comprehend - even more difficult for you to convey to them the emotions running through you without feeling lousy about yourself - telling a story - expelling the feeling at the time - reliving the event - yuck!... no wonder we isolate ...

 

[mamachick]

I isolate 1.) I have nothing to offer or contribute to the world 2.) I have no contact outside of this site with anyone with ptsd, friends with OCD and other similiar illnesses and they dont see a need for self improvement in themselves so dont understand mine. 3.)Im not much fun anymore and have little to converse about

One thing I have learned to do that I know is unhealthy-I play slot machines to numb out. Where I live they are legal and there are casino's and there are game rooms in every restaurant. Smoking is banned, except in game rooms and casinos. First I would leave the restaurant area to smoke in the game room. Eventually I played the machine and learned I didnt have to participate in small talk while I smoked. Now I go to smoke and disconnect

 

[lovinbiker]

Can it also ever be to protect their loved ones? I.e. they know their behaviour/reactions etc may not be well controlled at this time.

Hi I would have to say yes most certainly. My D has done it to me and said thats why she had to spend time away from me cos she was angry and didnt want to be angry with me as I had done nothing wrong.

It would appear that this is the case for a lot of sufferers judging from the other posts on.
Take care
LB

 

[Linda Lee Bogard - King]

Brat, I know what you mean - I do the same - sometimes I want to be near people but not talk so I take $20-40 to the casino and smoke my cigs, watching people and pulling the one arm bandit. At least I'm in public.

 

[mamachick]

I know its not so healthy but it feels good-to be in public. Sometimes a few words between other gamblers but nobody knows me or anything about me. Most of all-I am among people.

 

[Linda Lee Bogard - King]

Hey, the way I see it Brat, either I treat myself to a meal or a movie and really be by myself - or spend my fun money listening to bells go off and the chatter of voices And lots of lights with colors - like a party!

 

[The Albatross]

Man I'm awestruck. I prefer to be around people who "know" me. It is hard for me to be in large groups, I volunteered once to take the elderly to a casino and I didn't like it one little bit, but made the best of it anyways. I never did it again.

I isolate to protect my spouse or mother from myself. I isolate to not consistantly whine to my 3D girlfriends who are healthy even though one has had trauma. I am not so much motivated by depression, as I am the thoughts which I view as "warnings" that go through my head. I try to stop acting out by putting myself in a self imposed "time out" until I can wrap my head around it.

Mostly I am okay for about 2-4 weeks at a time. But when the thoughts come sometimes, I don't seem to have the ability to "just soldier on". Eventually, I need a private place to just be quiet and calm myself. Then like the old Jackson Browne lyric, I get up and do it again. (The Pretender) I work towards a continuity that I don't presently have... it hasn't been easy. My church and my husband call me a "race" horse instead of a "plow" horse. I run the track but have to rest afterward. Some can plow all day and get up and do it for days and days. I aspire to become a plow horse. If that makes any durn sense.