Where Does Therapy Usually Start?

[Jawn]

Hi all. My wife recently started therapy and I was just wondering where does a therapist normally start? Do they start with the most recent issue/problem in your life? The reason I ask, is it seems from the little bit of information that my wife shares with me, that the therapist is completely focused on her problems at work. From all of the issues she has with me, family, friends, life in general, etc., the
work problems are the most recent.

I guess I'm just a little concerned that if they focus too much on that problem, then they may never get to the bigger picture? I'm probably just worrying too much, but I was curious.

Thanks,

Jawn

 

[catjudo]

I think it is different for everyone. If she has ongoing problems at work it may be necessary to address those and help her figure out how to deal with them before being able to move on to other issues. I would definitely say it is necessary to be as stable as possible and have learned some good coping skills before delving into any old trauma. Beyond that, I don't think that therapy necessarily works based on chronology but rather on what issues are causing the most distress and need the most help.

 

[Jawn]

Catjudo,

Thanks. That actually helps put it in perspective. I know the therapist asked her in her 1st appointment if we were financially stable for her to quit her job or to go part time with it. I guess I really don't know what issue is causing her the most problems, but the blow up at work was certainly the most recent. So getting her stable there and getting her coping skills to deal with her boss and the stress of work certainly makes sense. I guess working through that will also help build the trust relationship with the therapist too.

Now that I think about it, the work issue was what she wrote the most detail about on her "intake" form for the therapist. I think she wrote 2 pages on how badly she was being treated and such at work and only a paragraph about her marriage "being in a bad place". So it makes sense that would be the primary problem to work on in the beginning.

I was just thinking that fixing her family and marriage issues would be more important things to tackle. I guess working on a smaller issue and building from there is what they are doing. My pea brain finally gets it! ;-)

Jawn

 

[Artista]

I am not sure of your wife's therapist but from my angle, my therapist asked me what i wanted to accomplish or what was most intrusive in my life. So, perhaps feeling stable with her work is really important to her well being (confidence?) and part of the initial issue or the base of much of it. Just an outside opinion. I am just impressed you are here trying to attain info! The more you know about this the better you will be able to help or be there when needed. I can imagine how frustrating it is to feel left out. I know I close up about things and find it hard to acknowledge I need anything and sometimes I think those who care just don't get it or try to. At least you are trying to! Bravo. It helps everyone in the end.

Wishing you and your family the best of out comes!

 

[Tinyflame]

Jawn,

As Artista said but in a different way, perhaps your marriage situation is not less important but is less of a problem/ cause.

I think during times of stress everything takes a brunt, and I'm guessing you/ your relationship together is probably the only person/ place she doesn't have to 'hide' everything, so you are likely to see some of the worst of it (because she can be more honest).

 

[Jawn]

Thanks Junebug. I hadn't thought about it from that angle and that makes perfect sense. Maybe since she knows I have hung in there this long she is more comfortable dealing with the issues at work first. She knows I'm not going any where unless she forces me to. And yes, I see lots of stuff that no one else gets to see. Last fall when she was in full-out "witch" mode, I took the brunt of it all and I'm still here. Although there are days when I wonder why. ;-)

Thanks for giving me a different perspective.

Jawn