Whether Or Not To Quit

[KRE]

First off, this is my first post, but I am very grateful for this site; it's provided a good deal of solace so far.
But to the actual issue... I'm currently enrolled in a Chinese class for next year. I've been taking the class for years, but in my second year my assault occurred--and it's directly linked to the class and the language, weird though that sounds. I've had troubles ever since, in the class, I mean. I try not to quit, and furthermore try not to blame my problems on what happened, and try to not let it rule me. But I genuinely think that it's a trigger, the class, the teacher, and everything. When I walk into class, I always get a little flashback, and I can usually push it away some, but I'm on edge the entire period, and I'm not learning anything. I want to quit. I truly do. But my parents always remind me that we can do hard things, and that mantra has gotten me through a few rough spots. But I don't know about this "hard thing". I also don't want them to think I'm using what happpened as a crutch to get out of doing something; I'm just not sure if they understand, or if I can make them understand. Plus, I don't want my academics and GPA to suffer because of this. What should I do? Do I quit? Or do I just try to keep going? When is it okay to quit? I just don't know...

 

[The Albatross]

Can you give priority to your academics and GPA over your perceived difficulty and reaffirm the choice every time you go to class? Can you reframe the language and the class as an opportunity/goal to normalize the subject and untether it/separate it away from your assault? It is, after all a very broad generalization.

I had to do that with another ethnicity/race though not due to attending a class. I had to learn how to manage the stress, question the cognitive distortions.

Or... can you discuss this with the instructor or a counselor at school and ask for advisement?

 

[KRE]

Can you give priority to your academics and GPA over your perceived difficulty and reaffirm the cho...

I'm certainly willing to try... The other slight difficulty is that I've been at this language, trying to "normalize", for four years now, and nothing's happened.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

If I was you I would talk to a therapist or counselor about this as soon as possible to offer you a variety of options and help in assisting you. I am sorry you were assaulted, I was too so I can relate to the side effects. I wish you the best.

 

[The Albatross]

Have you been making consistent conscious choices for four years? If so and you're still blocked, why?

 

[Deleted member 1860]

You're in the USA so if your school is in the USA, too, then you're eligible for disability accommodations if you have an official diagnosis. Are you registered with disability services at your school?

I have been going "back to school" for the last few years. I have had to take time outs, drop classes when it was too much for me, and so on. Fortunately my school has a very late drop date when compared to other schools. Yes, I have quite a few "W" on my transcript, but I don't care because I still have a 4.0 (at that school). Ya, at one point I was one "W" away from academic probation but I had a perfect GPA. Go figure! So yes, I have dropped quite a few classes since I've returned to school.

Is money an issue for you? (In terms of the class costing you money.) What is your drop date? (How many weeks into the semester?)

I attempted to take a sign language class (and I"m absolutely terrible at learning other languages, but I wanted to learn ASL because I thought it would help when I am unable to speak.) Well, the first class was OK, but I did struggle as there was a lot of class interaction. The second class didn't go so well as I couldn't handle being put on the spot throughout the entire class. Do I feel like a failure? No, because I at least tried. Now I am on to studying other things that are a better fit for me.

Yes, we can do hard things, but I think we should examine why we are doing hard things. Are we doing them simply to overcome an obstacle? Well, I'd argue that isn't really a good reason for doing something! Is it something you enjoy that is hard and will have a greater meaning or payoff for you? Then perhaps its a good idea to overcome our obstacles.

And, the thing is, with disorders such as PTSD, its not just "mind over matter". That is, sometimes, no matter how much we want to do something, or how hard we try, we simply will not succeed. But then again, to be fair, its like this with everyone.....its just that with PTSD, we have greater obstacles in front of us.

If you decide to not take the class, then that is OK. If you decide to take the class, that is OK, too.

 

[Catlovers141]

One thing to remember is that "quitting" doesn't have to be forever. I don't know a lot about what you are in school for -- is Chinese "just" an elective for you? If so, you can always come back to it later in the program or even take it for fun once you've graduated. Either way, it may be a better experience for you than pushing yourself through it when you aren't ready.

 

[KRE]

Thanks to everyone for the advice! It was really helpful, and I ended up continuing with the class, and is going well!