Why Can't He Realize?

[Adi]

Been encouraging/bargaining/pleading/requiring my sufferer to get support. He acts like I'm ruining his life and says he just wants to have fun instead, like I'm his damn mother that's grounding him or something. Can't he see that I love him more than anything and just want him to be ok?

 

[Ukuz]

Well... maybe he just needs to have fun and forget. I am a supporter, do not have PTSD but I had a trauma in my life.
I just needed to forget and move on. That is how I cope with things.

 

[Akus]

I understand a little of what you are talking about.
My partner was working full time when we met. I believe it was a struggle but he did if for many months........then did nothing.
I found it difficult to understand having no aim or purpose, even if it meant doing odd jobs around the house.....just do something.
He said he doesn't like people, will avoid anxiety at all costs, so choses to do very little........just things that make him happy. Like going to the beach, cooking and watching a crap load of tv. He put on a lot of weight in several months due to inactivity.
It is so very hard to understand the mind of a person suffering PTSD. I can understand that being calm and relaxed is good for him but because I am a very active and hard working person I do find it very difficult to see my loved one do very little and just do things that are fun and stress free.
To be honest I don't think it is something I will ever comprehend because I question if it is a matter of laziness or if he is actually not capable.
Although you can love someone completely, this inability to understand them does make life very difficult.
I wish you all the best.

 

[Uso]

My sufferer, when asked by our counselor why he refuses to get therapy for his cPTSD? "Because I don't want to. I don't want to relive anything. I don't want to deal with it. It won't go away, so why bother making it worse before it gets better? Nothing, no relationship, is worth it. I don't want to."

He doesn't really even see that there are negatives to how he's "handled" (not really handled!) his cPTSD - another marriage is ending? Oh well. They do that. He just wants to be alone so he can live his life his way and not take anyone else into account (he actually said this as well). He's ruining someone else's life? Oh well, his was ruined when he was a child, if I'm sad, it's not his problem (also said this).

He also said I'm not his mother (who was a large contributor to his cPTSD), so I can't tell him what to do, and the fact that I am trying to (to take care of his health, mental and physical) shows that I'm just like her.

But he's handling it exactly as he wants to. Which is not at all.