General Why do so many with combat PTSD have issues around the holidays?

[Never_falter2]

I hope that I do not write too much, only venting. This morning my vet told me why he felt so stressed last evening. Next Friday is going to be Friday the13th... like the Bataclan massacre when it was Friday the 13. of November... he has the fear that terrorists play a cruel game by choosing dates... like 911 Emergency telephone number for the US.... 9/11, date of the September 11th attack... or Friday 13ths... unlucky day in Western superstition and date of Bataclan attack... Friday 13th and Christmas time... scary.

Vet asked us to not leave the house those day unless we need too (obviously ouroldest needs to be in school) but he asked me to phone the daycare and tell them the younger ones where sick those day.
He has to be in a big city this Friday and feels a bit scared of a terrorist attack... and should I be honest? I am feeling a bit scared too. He really infected me with his fear of terrorism. Car accidents - to take an example - are far more likely... but not so scary.

However then he smiled and hugged me and said next Saturday we will see nothing bad has happened and laugh about this. You will laugh with me okay. Next Saturday we will meet here and laugh.

 

[Rollercoaster4]

SO was out shopping last night... oh I can only imagine what he was feeling, poor guy, but he was out doing it. He made a comment earlier in the day how he dislikes this holiday and I said, "each person is entitled to their thoughts and feelings about anything but please dont pee in my cheerios because I LOVE this time of the year". I know he doesnt do things to "ruin" them but it is still difficult when you want to enjoy something together but he is totally showing zero enjoyment, its him not me I have to remind myself.

 

[Never_falter2]

@Rollercoaster4 I understand this very well. I used to be that disappointed because we did not go places and in the beginning he did not even tell me why... but now... Dunno... I got used to it a bit and also I am sometimes afraid of crowds during Christmas time too. I think he has infected me with fear of terrorism so to speak.

It is 0300 over here (Oh, how I love being on a board, where people get military time because as a non native speaker I always struggle with a.m. and p.m. in our country we just say three i lock in the morning) I am awake because Vet got up and he did a parameter check so to speak... which he always does... he lies in bed and then feels he needs to do a parameter check... and the feeling gets stronger and stronger.
So he did check and went back to sleep but I could not go back to sleep.

 

[Never_falter2]

Hey @Freida also awake. What time is it over there?

 

[Freida]

It is 6:24 pm almost dinner time! :)

LOL 1824 to be exact!

 

[Never_falter2]

Oh, I see... a good Time to be awake. What’s for dinner @Freida?

 

[Freida]

We're having pulled chicken sandwiches, baked beans and corn. Its a southern meal day here in the PNW :)

 

[Rollercoaster4]

Yup I use military time for everything, always have. Grew up with it and it's so much easier, ha...plus work requires it.

As for going places, I'm less frustrated now since he told me what was going on with his stomach (that was like three years ago that we went down the let's try and "fix" the stomach problem road). I guess he got to the point he felt comfortable saying hey ya guys enjoy dinner but I'm going to spend a good chunk of time in the restroom.

Ahh the lovely bed routine. Since he went to treatment I have not caught him doing parameter checks but he does have continued sleep disturbances, night terrors, or his stomach acting up. He will stay in bed with me to fall asleep, but 90% of the time he will eventually make his way to the floor of the great room and "sleep" so he doesn't disrupt me with up and downs or reactions to his nightmares. I'm okay with it so long as I get to fall asleep with him in the bed. Plus I'm a huge bed hog and im pretty sure he is over it lol.

 

[Never_falter2]

He still does parameter checks. I think he always will but I am okay with this. You get used to it.

Have you tried moving your bed to another place (one of his choice)? It helped my guy a lot. We moved it into a corner. It helped so much.

Boy, I realized it is already 0342 over here. Really need to sleep now and I will be back later.

 

[Never_falter2]

So it is Friday the 13th, my Vet will be in the big city in a crowded place this evening and most likely will feel very afraid but there is a reason he has to be there (do not want to mention why because of anonymity). I will not be with him.

@Rollercoaster Have you tried putting something warm on his stomach. It helps mine a lot.

 

[Never_falter2]

I planned to stay awake until Vet came home but then I fell asleep tucking the kids into bed. Vet seems to be fine. He texted me a few times saying everything was okay and wondered why I did not write back in his messages ? and guessed I fell asleep tucking the kids into bed.? He doesn’t write back now.

 

[Never_falter2]

Poor Vet texted me he is not feeling good but cannot get away. I am worried because he typically doesn’t say he is feeling unwell unless he really is.