Why Is It So Hard To Keep Going?

[HelenB]

@digger1 thank you for your suggestion. As adult Helen I do know so well that I do want to have compassion for little Helen and know that the other parts which come in where I just want to destroy myself and shut it out like that so much are also just parts which are so terrified and that talking to them and feeding in the safety and reality of now and finding ways to compromise and be able to keep myself safe is so important.

I also feel like you @franciemarine that I do not have different parts in a DID sense, but do have different ages of myself and both younger and teenage very self destruct destruct parts too, which particularly for the younger part is really just totally terrified and does not know how else to deal with it. I know as adult Helen I have to continue to make those right choices and communicate with all the parts, including the very scared and broken little girl who just wants to run away so much, and know that keeping myself grounded as much as I possible can is so important, and do think that talking into myself about all the things going on will help and really will keep trying to do that.

Thank you again so much
Helen

 

[Marf]

I would also remind yourself that you ARE in control now. You do not have to go, but are choosing to go. That makes a huge difference.

 

[HelenB]

Sorry phone was playing up and managed to duplicate post.
Helen

 

[HelenB]

Being on control now I know is also such an important thing and the fact that I am an adult now and that they do not have the same power over me is also so important and I do appreciate you reminding me of that too.
Helen

 

[Ghostybear73]

The holidays are the worst for me as well. I am lucky in a morbid kind of way. When I did live near my family, my brother tried to kill me and while my mother held him back she screamed at me to get my son and get as far away from there as possible.....so I did.

My family has tried to make nice for years now, and I don't have to worry because I listened to my mother and moved far away, so there is no worry about me having to deal with them during the holidays

It does make for a lonely holiday in which I think about people who get to spend time with family, but I was dealt a bad hand and at least I have distanse to protect me.

 

[littlelostchild]

Helen, your post really resonates with me. I just visited my family on Saturday, I have avoided seeing my family since May. I predicted that my mother would ask for a ride home after the party - the last time, she said some upsetting things to me. This time I was prepared and suggested that my son and his fiancé give her a ride as they live closer.

I guess my 2 cents is that if there is a pattern that you can identify, can you prepare a response?

I mainly kept a low profile and had my hubby by my hip. I really like the code word idea and will use it moving forward.

It took me a few hours to come down from the anxiety of the visit, but I got it done. Phew.

 

[HelenB]

@Ghostybear73 I am so sorry to hear the experiences you have with your family and am glad that you are able to distance yourself from them and give yourself the protection you do deserve and hope you are able to find blessings from the people you do have around you now.

@littlelostchild I am glad that you have been able to get your family visit out of the way and also find ways to keep yourself safe with your husband by your side.

I think at the moment because I have been so stressed about it all that everything else about Christmas and dealing with my children and the things I want so much to be able to get done has been so hard and even functioning and getting my head round all the rest of the things I have to I am really struggling with. That again makes me feel so so bad but everything does just feel so overwhelming at the moment.

Again having so many people who care enough to have replied to me and given me so much support and understanding, when it all just feels so hard at the moment really does help and I really do appreciate you all so much.

Thank you again
Helen