I can't keep going.… everything is too much and I'm back at the time when my trauma happened

[SeekingAfrica]

It's too much, everything is too much and I'm back at the time when my trauma happened....I don't know how to keep going.

 

[sharron]

Please keep going; I know how it feels; be proactive. find that strength within yourself you are worth more.

 

[Starfire]

It's too much, everything is too much and I'm back at the time when my trauma happened....I don't know how to keep going.

Yeah. Whoever decided How this world should be run Made A cruddy decision. Look around And if you can't find anything You don't want to give up Then I think It's time To go find something. Don't let The abusers Win. They ruined enough of your life. Perhaps It's time To Show them Who is the strongest And Find something To make you happy. They will hate That you do

 

[arfie]

alas, i don't believe i get a choice in whether or not to keep going. if i take the big exit and kill myself, i'm still going. if i vegetate in a gutter until starvation asserts itself, i'm still choosing. who made up these freaking rules, anyway? sigh. . .

onward through the psychotic fog.

easy does it, my healing warrior. small steps, big faith and lots of prayer.

 

[SeekingAfrica]

I feel like I'm falling apart more each day but I don't know how to stop.

 

[Dynamic]

I felt gutted yesterday and I hate it. It helps me to remember that all feelings come to an end at a certain point.

Also resisting them can make them worse

Our feelings are not our entire existence even if they feel larger than everything

Even if they take a very long time. They (feelings) and ourselves can be sorted

Praying for you. Keep writing if you can.

 

[Ecdysis]

If you get deeper into crisis, maybe the safest thing to do is to just leave everything behind and go to your parents' house?

 

[SeekingAfrica]

If you get deeper into crisis, maybe the safest thing to do is to just leave everything behind and go to your parents' house?

Sorry.

Maybe. Not sure of anything right not, that's the problem with crises. Usually it's n9t the best idea, but now? Who knows.
It's complicated because of luggage and getting my ptsd meds renewed though.

My mom promised to try to send help in the size of 1 rent, which is still big deal, I can find cheaper place or save for deposit the next weeks and at worst, move out of this apartment. I can deal with the landlord in pieces after that.

 

[Dynamic]

More hugs below , good idea @mszl

 

[Tinyflame]

Yes .

 

[SeekingAfrica]

If you get deeper into crisis, maybe the safest thing to do is to just leave everything behind and go to your parents' house?

Turns out you are right. I will leave with what I can in 2 suitcases, but I will have to leave stuff behind and it's making me nauseous.
I grew up poor and it's taken a long time for me to get these things. And now I have to leave some behind.

It's an awful feeling.
But after another day of being so frozen that I can't cope with doing anything, I have to do something.

Going back to my parents for month or 2 just makes sense at the moment. As uncomfortable as it will be. As heartbreaking as it feels.

 

[Tinyflame]

Maybe there is a way some friends could keep some things?

I hope you won't think of it as heartbreaking to go home @SeekingAfrica . It's good you have a home to go to, parents, and ones that want to help, as difficult as it may be. Let there be joy seeing relief. And it is also for now, not forever.

Hope you will let some stress fall away from you.